Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Schools are more and more essential

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

with

people

Use synonyms

around the world, especially

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

Use synonyms

. Some

people

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that the main task of education systems is to transform

children

Use synonyms

into well-educated citizens and employers, rather than to

Correct your spelling

benefit

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

them as individuals. It is

disasgreed

Correct your spelling

disagreed

that

this

Linking Words

is the main target of

shool

Correct your spelling

school

show examples

for

children

Use synonyms

. Analysing the

self development

Add a hyphen

self-development

show examples

of graduates for both their financial abilities and their mental

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

will prove

this

Linking Words

Firstly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

will give their

learnes

Correct your spelling

learners

about

khowledges

Correct your spelling

knowledge

knowledges

and skills to meet their job requirements so that they could get

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

easier.

For instance

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who are fresh

Correct your spelling

graduates

gradutes

Correct your spelling

graduates

could

be apply

Change the verb form

be applied

show examples

for jobs which

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

job descriptions same as their

khowledges

Correct your spelling

knowledge

knowledges

sector at universities, so they have more chance to be accepted by the company. If they get the jobs, they will have

ability

Change the article

the ability

show examples

to afford their cost of living,

Linking Words

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

pay taxes for social.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

it clear that they are

people

Use synonyms

who take more

Correct your spelling

benefits

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

Secondly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

will give their

learnes

Correct your spelling

learners

khowledges

Correct your spelling

knowledge

knowledges

to develop the mental health on

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

For example

Linking Words

, kids will be taught ethical

Correct your spelling

lesson

lession

Correct your spelling

lessons

to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better

Use synonyms

children

Correct the article-noun agreement

child

show examples

in their families.

Moreover

Linking Words

, kids

also

Linking Words

learn

survial

Correct your spelling

survival

skills that

extremely

Add a missing verb

are extremely

show examples

essential in their life

such

Linking Words

as swimming, cooking..etc.

Thus

Linking Words

, it becomes

appearant

Correct your spelling

apparent

that

learnes

Correct your spelling

learners

get more

valueable

Correct your spelling

valuable

from

school

Use synonyms

than social. To summarise, the learners are

people

Use synonyms

who are received more

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

from

school

Use synonyms

than companies or social. So, it

clear

Add a missing verb

is clear

show examples

that the ideal of the main purpose of schools is to turn

children

Use synonyms

into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals

cannot

Correct pronoun usage

who cannot

show examples

be supported.

yenbao89Wed Aug 24 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

social responsibility
foundational knowledge
career success
economic contribution
personal development
critical thinking
creativity
emotional intelligence
balanced education
community well-being
holistic education
academic and personal growth

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?
There are split opinions regarding the good places that old individuals might live in. Some believe that adult children should share a home with their old people, whereas another group of thinkers do not support this notion. However, both have their pros and cons. Therefore, before commenting on my decision, both views would be discussed.
4
band
n some places young people find it difficult to communicate with older people why is this what are the solutions
For most people, one of the widely discussed issue nowadays is owning trouble to communicate with senior citizens. I admit that discussion with mature adults became tough and grueling.
6.5
band
It's thought by many people that the internet has caused people to become more isolated from society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
I strongly disagree with the idea that the internet has caused people to become more isolated from society. In fact, I believe that the internet has had the opposite effect, bringing people together in ways that were previously unimaginable.
6
band
In many countries, the tradition of families living together is disappearing. What are the reasons for this trend? What are the effects on the family and society as a whole? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is true that extended families have disappeared recently due to lots of reasons, therefore it has many consequences for individuals and communities to deal with. I would mention some reasons and side effects.
<4
band
In some areas of US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are companied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
There are some areas in the United State where the rule curfew is enforced for adolescence that they could not go out after certain time at night unless their adult company them. I believe this rule is definitely useful for in the America.

Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?

n some places young people find it difficult to communicate with older people why is this what are the solutions

It's thought by many people that the internet has caused people to become more isolated from society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In many countries, the tradition of families living together is disappearing. What are the reasons for this trend? What are the effects on the family and society as a whole? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some areas of US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are companied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?