IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping?

#growth #shops #cities
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With an
Change preposition
An
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 advancement
of
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in
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 technology drastically changed our lives in various ways,
although
Linking Words
 it has changed the way
which
Correct pronoun usage
we
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think
Change the verb form
thinks
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. In
this
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 contemporary
time
Use synonyms
, the role
shopping
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of shopping
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 has been significantly taken
by
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apply
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online. Some believe that eventually, the existence of physical shops will come to end in the future. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I intend into delve both merits and demerits
as under
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apply
show examples
. To commence, the role of shopping has adversely affected since the beginning of e-commerce websites as a consequence, the sale of physically shops has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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declined.
Furthermore
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, it has numerous benefits the foremost thing is, in
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
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fast
Add an article
the fast
a fast
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 paced environment we do not have
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to access the shops and negotiate our products and services, so these sites have made our lives more continent and
Add a hyphen
hassle-free
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hassle free
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hassle-free
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,
apparently
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,apparently
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 in just a single click you can have access a lot of products and services across the country and competition as well.
In addition
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, it
also
Linking Words
 saves our precious
time
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 and money,
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moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 you can
also
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 avail
huge
Add an article
the huge
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 amount of discount and free home delivery within two working days of
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
the time
a time
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 period.
For instance
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, In Pakistan, Daraz and Ali baba.com has captured our market of local businessmen. Choices of people have been increased. They will
also
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 help to generate
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
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. On the flip side, as every coin has two sides respectively, in some underprivilege areas of developing countries, where
literacy
Correct article usage
the literacy
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 rate is quite low, they
Correct your spelling
do
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don
Correct your spelling
do
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 not have access to
internet
Add an article
an internet
the internet
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 connection,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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 their mindset is completely set on physically
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
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, it is
quite
Change the article
quite an
a quite
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 uphill task for them to create
such
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 awareness sessions.
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Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
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 poor
persons
Replace the word
people
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 can not afford
on
Change preposition
apply
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these websites. Without verification of products, they would not rely on buying
Linking Words
such
Add an article
a such
the such
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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. If we have bought clothing items, we cannot judge the quality,
color
Change the spelling
colour
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 and feeling of
such
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 fabric, so it is
hard
Add an article
a hard
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 choice to select
such
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 items. To conclude, some items are being sold today on
e-commerce
Add an article
the e-commerce
an e-commerce
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platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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, but the chances of fraud
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been increased, without physical verification, though it is not suitable for individuals.
Submitted by smkwarsi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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