IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping?

#growth #shops #cities
With an
Change preposition
An
show examples
 advancement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology drastically changed our lives in various ways,
although
 it has changed the way
which
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
. In
this
 contemporary
time
, the role
shopping
Change preposition
of shopping
show examples
 has been significantly taken
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online. Some believe that eventually, the existence of physical shops will come to end in the future. In
this
 essay, I intend into delve both merits and demerits
as under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. To commence, the role of shopping has adversely affected since the beginning of e-commerce websites as a consequence, the sale of physically shops has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined.
Furthermore
, it has numerous benefits the foremost thing is, in
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
fast
Add an article
the fast
a fast
show examples
 paced environment we do not have
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time
 to access the shops and negotiate our products and services, so these sites have made our lives more continent and
Add a hyphen
hassle-free
show examples
hassle free
Add a hyphen
hassle-free
show examples
,
apparently
Add a comma
,apparently
show examples
 in just a single click you can have access a lot of products and services across the country and competition as well.
In addition
, it
also
 saves our precious
time
 and money,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 you can
also
 avail
huge
Add an article
the huge
show examples
 amount of discount and free home delivery within two working days of
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
 period.
For instance
, In Pakistan, Daraz and Ali baba.com has captured our market of local businessmen. Choices of people have been increased. They will
also
 help to generate
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
. On the flip side, as every coin has two sides respectively, in some underprivilege areas of developing countries, where
literacy
Correct article usage
the literacy
show examples
 rate is quite low, they
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 not have access to
internet
Add an article
an internet
the internet
show examples
 connection,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 their mindset is completely set on physically
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
, it is
quite
Change the article
quite an
a quite
show examples
 uphill task for them to create
such
 awareness sessions.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 poor
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 can not afford
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these websites. Without verification of products, they would not rely on buying
such
Add an article
a such
the such
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
. If we have bought clothing items, we cannot judge the quality,
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 and feeling of
such
 fabric, so it is
hard
Add an article
a hard
show examples
 choice to select
such
 items. To conclude, some items are being sold today on
e-commerce
Add an article
the e-commerce
an e-commerce
show examples
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
, but the chances of fraud
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been increased, without physical verification, though it is not suitable for individuals.
Submitted by smkwarsi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: