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Band 4

The length of working week does not reflect mordern lifestyle needs. It should be substantially reduced to give people more leisure time and time with their families. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#length #week #mordern #lifestyle #people #leisure #time #families
The employees are under
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
huge stress due to long working
hours
 and cannot create a balance between their personal and professional
life
.
Therefore
, it is always suggested that
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 of work should be reduced. I
am completely agree
Change the verb form
completely agree
show examples
 with
this
 statement and will highlight my viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the reduction in working
hours
 can bring substantial changes in the
life
 of
working
Add an article
the working
a working
show examples
 community.
Firstly
, the employees will be released from the pressure of sitting in an office for
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
hours
 and they can become more productive than before.In
this
 way, they will finish their tasks happily and timely.
Secondly
, the majority of
people
 nowadays are suffering from depression and anxiety due to
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 social interactions and the reduced
timings
 at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 will give them a chance to interact with friends and family members.
Also
, they can devote some time
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 health and
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 activities which will bring positivity
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
life
.
Furthermore
, many
people
 are witnessing distances in their personal relationships as they cannot spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality time with their children and spouse.
Hence
, the
cut off
Add a hyphen
cut-off
show examples
 in working
hours
 can mitigate the differences between their relationships and they can maintain a
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
 balance.
In addition
 to
this
, many skilled
people
 are quitting their jobs due to pressure of job
timings
 and migrating to other countries which
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 flexibility in
timings
 and
hence
, a country can face
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 crisis due to lack of skilled
people
. In conclusion, the
timings
 of work must be reduced to give employees
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 freedom to live their
life
 happily and
this
 will not only improve their productivity at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 as well as bring serenity and happiness
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
life
.
Submitted by sandhuharpreet670 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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