IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country
Customs
 and
traditions
 are very sacred things
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
country
.
Therefore
, when
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
to live in a
country
,
people
 should follow those
customs
 and
traditions
 . I totally agree with
this
 view. There are two main problems if the
customs
 and
traditions
 are not followed.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
issue is that
people
 in that
country
are not follow
Change the verb form
are not following
show examples
 their
customs
 and
traditions
 and they will run into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficulties when bringing goodwill to
people
 around them
; and
Change the punctuation
, and
;
show examples
 they
unwelcome
Add a missing verb
are unwelcome
show examples
 in a
country
.
Moreover
, it would be very hard to adjust to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 environment when you don’t learn and follow the
customs
 and
traditions
 in a
country
, especially in doing business.
In addition
 to the
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 expressed above, I still believe that following the
customs
 and
traditions
 will help you get undeniable benefits. The
first
 is
also
 the most important that
people
 can avoid doing impolite behaviours or unsatisfied everyone .
Thus
, you would be had
Add an article
a
show examples
fondness for everybody.
The
Correct article usage
Second
show examples
second
, when you get used to the
customs
 and
traditions
, you would not only have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to learn and experience many new cultures
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 develop your vision and knowledge by interacting with new
people
. In conclusion, I always believe that following the
customs
 and
traditions
 is one of the most necessary things to help improve own business, relationships and more experienced in the life when
people
 move to a new
country
.
Submitted by bttha.qn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: