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Band 6.5

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

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In the past two decades,
women
 have been extending their role in many aspects throughout the world as they have equal importance in recruitment and working like men.
However
, others think it has caused severe problems for
children
 since they have less attention from their mothers who are mostly working. From my perspective, I do not agree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will discuss the supporters and opponents of
this
 view.
To begin
 with, it has become a necessity for
both
parents
 to
work
. Due to the fact that
parents
 these days strive to make sure their
children
 have a better life as well as a good education, it is challenging for an average man to afford these expenses alone.
Therefore
, with the financial contribution of
women
 makes things easier.
Secondly
,
women
 have taken part all over the world and in enormous fields of society. In politics, there is massive growth in the number of
women
 becoming ministers, or members of councils. They can
also
work
 as breadwinners
instead
 of being household wives staying at home, so they can improve their capabilities in certain
work
 fields and career opportunities.
However
, if
both
parents
 do not spend sufficient time with their
children
 and fail to make an impact on their
children
's lives, their kids will suffer from depression, abuse drugs, and
finally
, conduct criminal activities. To illustrate, crime and drug abuse rates are higher in countries where
both
parents
work
.
Children
 are more likely to lack their
parents
' attention and easily lost their connection with family in the long run.
As a result
,
children
 start growing antipathy towards the family which
finally
 leads to misbehaviour and crime. To conclude,
although
both
parents
 try to spend their time bringing their
children
 a better life and good education will result in the kids making crimes, I believe they can balance their time for
work
 and family. Not only does
this
 improve family bones but
also
 decreases pressure on making the money.
Submitted by shinyucr3 on

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  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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