Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that thsi information may be relevant and useful. Other disagree.

From
Change preposition
For
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
many years, sharing personal
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
and
status
are
Verb problem
has
show examples
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a part of the interview
while
applying for a job. Some people happily share their
information
such
as hobbies and interests, on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side some people feel
shy
Rephrase
too shy
show examples
to
mentioned
Change the form of the verb
mention
show examples
their marital
status
and believe that
these
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
unnecessary,
this
essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opinions and will conclude with my point of view.
Firstly
, it is difficult to judge the nature of an employee from his resume and face-to-face conversation helps the employer to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
a decision about
this
person, during
this
time, the interviewer can be asked about personal details to know the person.
for example
,
recruiting
Rephrase
when recruiting
show examples
a person for the post of Human
Resource
Fix the agreement mistake
Resources
show examples
,
interviewer
Add an article
the interviewer
an interviewer
show examples
asks more questions relevant to the subject, not only that but
also
,
he
Correct word choice
but he
show examples
asks
Rephrase
also asks
show examples
about personal interests and examines
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how he gives answers.
Moreover
, many companies run sports clubs or
connected
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
with them to encourage their staff members.
For
this
reason, it is necessary to have the personal details of an employee. On the opposite side, sometimes, a person’s
information
can cause the reason for rejection, or it is possible that employers
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
a negative image in their minds because of
Correct article usage
an
show examples
Correct article usage
an
show examples
employee's marital
status
or hobbies. To illustrate, if an interviewee lives far from the working area,
this
leads to a chance of rejection.
Furthermore
, in the case of female candidates, some employers
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
decisions based on their marital
status
.
Thus
, people hesitate to give their personal
information
.
To conclude
, it is mandatory to share personal
information
with the employer, so that they can recognise our ability. If society stops assuming about individuals on
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
basis of their
status
and interests, there is no harm in providing the
information
. I opine that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
these
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
information
should not be the main reason for the rejection of the employees.
Submitted by bhavendra.bhensdadia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: