IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Men do most of the high-level jobs. Should the company encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women What is your opinion on that? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#men #jobs #company #percentage #women #support #arguments #evidence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
İt is considered by some people that
men
Use synonyms
 do most of the high-level
jobs
Use synonyms
. I completely disagree with the
opinion
Use synonyms
 and in my
opinion
Use synonyms
 , the
company
Use synonyms
 should encourage a certain percentage of these
jobs
Use synonyms
 to be reserved for
women
Use synonyms
 and equality between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 .
Firstly
Linking Words
 , the
company
Use synonyms
 generally prefer
men
Use synonyms
 over
women
Use synonyms
therefore
Linking Words
 , the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 in
companies
Use synonyms
 experienced a decrease .
Thus
Linking Words
 , bad opinions expose among people
such
Linking Words
 as only
men
Use synonyms
 can work in the best
jobs
Use synonyms
 or
women
Use synonyms
 can be
Add an article
a housewife
show examples
housewife
Fix the agreement mistake
housewives
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , these considerations
revealing
Wrong verb form
reveal
show examples
 many troubles
such
Linking Words
 as inequality between
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 or unsuccess in
jobs
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
 , the increased incomes of
companies
Use synonyms
 can increase thanks to
women
Use synonyms
 if
companies
Use synonyms
 will give
women
Use synonyms
 a chance . Another point to consider is that
companies
Use synonyms
 should encourage a certain percentage of these
jobs
Use synonyms
 to be reserved for
women
Use synonyms
 . İn my
opinion
Use synonyms
 , there are many important
women
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as scientists
women
Use synonyms
 or teachers
women
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 can help for
company
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefit
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the government if
companies
Use synonyms
 give
women
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
 right .
For instance
Linking Words
 , according to my experience , ı entered a
job
Use synonyms
 two years ago and by the way , any
women
Use synonyms
 didn't work in
this
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
 . Afterwards , a
job
Use synonyms
 is given to me by my manager to solve the trouble but ı couldn't solve it .
Thus
Linking Words
 the
company
Use synonyms
 took
women
Use synonyms
 to solve the trouble one year later and she could solve the trouble . I mean , many
women
Use synonyms
 can help
companies
Use synonyms
 when they have a
job
Use synonyms
 right in
companies
Use synonyms
. İn conclusion , the
company
Use synonyms
 should encourage a certain percentage of these
jobs
Use synonyms
 to be reserved for
women
Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
 , many
women
Use synonyms
 can rescue from bad things which seen and
also
Linking Words
 ,
companies
Use synonyms
 can acquire more income when they give to
women
Use synonyms
 a
job
Use synonyms
 right . İn my
opinion
Use synonyms
 , society shouldn't say '
men
Use synonyms
 do most of the high-level
jobs
Use synonyms
' because
women
Use synonyms
 can do most of the high-level
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by atescagdas826 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: