Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

The discussion about what is the right

retirement

age

seems to become more and more present in many countries around the world. It is being said that there should be some exceptions in the current legislation and some jobs should be allowed to retire earlier. I agree with

this

statement. In

this

essay, I will explain the reason and explore possible professions that could be included in the potential new legal regulation.

First

of all, the main argument

Correct your spelling

against

agains

Correct your spelling

against

having equal

retirement

conditions is that not all professions are the same and

therefore

they should not be treated equally. Some jobs are just more demanding than others and require either extended physical endurance,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

emotional resilience, or both. For

this

reason, it would be very unhealthy for some

professions

Replace the word

professionals

show examples

to work for the same amount of time. Another reason in favour of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

erly

Correct your spelling

early

retirement

is that certain

profession

Fix the agreement mistake

professions

show examples

deserve

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

special treatment due to their service to society and setting an earlier

retirement

age

would be a sort of reward and acknowledgement of these demanding

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

show examples

. As stated before, I

Correct your spelling

believe

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that there are certain occupations that should be taken care of on the governmental level by enjoying an early

retirement

age

For instance

Correct your spelling

firemen

firemans

Correct your spelling

firemen

show examples

, soldiers,

Correct your spelling

policemen

policemans

Correct your spelling

policemen

show examples

, doctors or any other public-service occupations.

Correct pronoun usage

Their

show examples

They

Correct your spelling

The

show examples

career life is much more intense than a work life of a salesman,

for instance

Thus

, they deserve to receive their pension earlier,

Correct your spelling

without

withouth

Correct your spelling

without

having to reach a certain

age

. To conclude, it needs to be pointed out that there are good reasons for setting different

retirement

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

depending on the type of work. There are jobs that deserve

Remove the article

apply

show examples

special treatment and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should be provided by each government.

Submitted by martalutomska94 on Thu Sep 01 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Write at least 250 words. Examine the arguments in favour and against animal experiments, and come to a conclusion on this issue. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
In the world of technology and medicine, animal experiments have become a norm. It is an important practice before any finalization of a drug or any other practical experiment. Although, it is beneficial to test any new drug on animals before human, also, it is inhuman and dangerous for animal's life. This easy will discuss both the points and present a conclusion on the issue.
7
band
Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Modern society is characterised by an abundance of choices, whether in the marketplace, the media or even in personal lives. While some people embrace this diversity, others feel overwhelmed by these choices. From my perspective, I believe that in modern days, we have too many options to choose from, and that can often lead to confusion, anxiety, and indecisiveness.
6
band
TASK 2 (Academic and General Training) You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? Write at least 250 words.
Talking about health issues, one cannot avoid looking at the alarming increase in numbers of people having difficulty maintaining a healthy balanced diet. In fact, its reasons are multiple and certainly, the solutions to accompany them are various as well. We will be taking a glance at them below.
7.5
band
Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everthing organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?
Many people believe that keeping their houses and workstations clean and in order is of extreme importance. I completely agree that having a tidy environment is important because it brings mental benefits to individuals and increases their productivity.
7
band
Schooling is no more necessary, since more and more information are accessible on the Internet, and student can study just as well at home. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that the function of formal education can be substituted by several educational contents that are easily attainable on free websites. I strongly disagree with the statement eliminating the roles of school and this essay will outline the two most significant reasons.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

TASK 2 (Academic and General Training) You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? Write at least 250 words.

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everthing organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

Schooling is no more necessary, since more and more information are accessible on the Internet, and student can study just as well at home. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?