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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts Below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the word. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.

The charts Below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the word. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #word #information #features #comparisons
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The given pie charts make comparisons
regions
Change preposition
between regions
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 of the world in terms of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption. (industrial
use
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, agricultural
use
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, and domestic
use
Use synonyms
)
Overally
Correct your spelling
Overall
, substantial
water
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 is consumed by agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 in Africa, Central Asia,
South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
 Asia and South
America
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 industrial
use
Use synonyms
 makes up the majority of North American and European total
water
Use synonyms
 utilization. To initiate, As can be seen from represented charts, the trends in North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe are approximately similar. 48% and 53% of total
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
in
Add a missing verb
is in
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 North
America
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 and Europe,
whereas
Linking Words
 39% and 32% of whole
water
Use synonyms
 usage go to stated counties. The figures for domestic
use
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 in North
America
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 and Europe are 13% and 15%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 industrial
use
Use synonyms
 contributes 7%, 5% ad 10% in Africa, Central Asia and South
America
Use synonyms
 to the total
water
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 consumption which is the lowest amount of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption,
whereas
Linking Words
 the minority of
water
Use synonyms
 usage for The
South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
 is domestic
use
Use synonyms
 at 7%.
Submitted by maralkarimi48 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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