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Band 4.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops In town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree

#growth #shops #town #cities
Nowadays , technology become
online
Add an article
an online
the online
show examples
 platform to do shopping without
go
Change the form of the verb
going
show examples
 there and
also
 any
kinf
Correct your spelling
kind
 of things we can
perchase
Correct your spelling
purchase
 so it impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local shops and one day , it will close in the country I do not agree with the statement. The
first
 and foremost reason is that a number of people believe that
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 way to do shopping , we should go there , due to
check
Change the verb form
checking
show examples
 the quality of products there ,
for example
 , currently ,
mostly
Replace the word
most
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 things are available
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 cheap prices but they have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
use
Change the verb form
used
show examples
 amazing materials ,
consequently
 , it will get worse after some time.
Moreover
 ,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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 we get other products , when we ordered online , owing to the temptation of bucks ,
such
 as during a COVID it increased rapidly ,
therefore
 it
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
 the public to do fraud ,
as a result
, we lost our
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
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hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
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 capital.
Furthermore
 , we cannot purchase groceries online , due to if it turns out to be bad , we do not use it ,
for instance
, whenever we go to
grocery
Correct article usage
the grocery
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 store
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we check
time
Add an article
the time
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 after we
Correct your spelling
purchase
purchased
perchase
Correct your spelling
purchase
 it so it will not get worse.
On the other hand
 , a plethora person
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 order on
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
 application,
therefore
 it
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
 them to do more spread business rather than in the past ,
for instance
 ,
last
 year , thousands of people change their mindset and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
forward
Add an article
the forward
a forward
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 shop
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
Secondly
 , due to the service , everyone
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
 by them , which the public cannot get from
local
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a local
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shopkeeper
Fix the agreement mistake
shopkeepers
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,
such
 as home delivery
far
Add a missing verb
is far
show examples
 more famous rather than others. In Conclusion , both are important for us , due to the reason , we cannot buy some products online , at that time , we must go there , where it is available.
Submitted by ssangani6161 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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