IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world/ Others feel that those organizations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based. discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #charities #matter #world #organizations #country
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Nowadays, a large number of
charities
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 are helping an enormous number of
people
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 globally. Some
people
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 advise that
charities
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 should help
people
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 in need no matter where they are from in the world,
while
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 other
people
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 claim that those fund
organisations
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 should only help the
people
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 living in their domestic country. In
this
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 essay, I will look at both views and I will explain my reasons why I think that
organisations
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 should help the community globally
along with
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 in domestic country is better. On the one hand, there are many reasons why
charities
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 should donate
money
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 and other essentials to the public globally,
this
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 is because some undeveloped
countries
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 do not get proper subsidies and lifestyles from their poor government.
For example
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, Congo, one of the
countries
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 in central Africa with low GDP and 70% of
people
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 living below the poverty line
and
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apply
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for that reason, recently "Give India" a big fund organisation in India helped them by sending 500 million dollars and food for them, which helps the public to fulfil their basic need from that help.
Also
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, sometimes
donators
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donors
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 want to spend their
money
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 on non-profit
organisations
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 to help
people
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 globally it is a great idea to send their
money
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 to international
organisations
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, which helps them to give their profit to other
people
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.
On the other hand
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, some individuals claim that those
charities
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 should only serve the
people
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 belonging to the nation where the
charities
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 are based,
this
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 is because sometimes that
money
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 sent to other nations they terminated in fraud for that reason, some NGOs only serve the
people
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 in their own nation.
For example
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, "Sightsavers" is the Indian
No
Correct your spelling
No.
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 1 NGO that only helps
people
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 who belong to India and help needy
people
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 domestically by visiting their places and meeting face-to-face, which help to make their life much better and standard.
Furthermore
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, it is much
easy
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easier
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 to donate
money
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 in domestic
countries
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 we can see our naked eyes and our community's difficulties and have many opportunities to help them in their difficult situations.
To conclude
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, after considering all, I think that NGOs should help
people
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 in the domestic
countries
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as well as
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 outside of the nation both are important and many chances to help poor
people
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 and make their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 much better and standard.
Submitted by azone2646 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and expressing a clear opinion. However, the points presented lack depth and development. Ensure to provide more detailed and well-supported arguments for each perspective.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks clear logical progression, especially in the introduction and conclusion. Work on organizing the ideas and structuring the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion. Additionally, use transition words to improve the flow of ideas and connect the paragraphs more effectively.
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