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Band 5

Traffic jams are a serious problem in many large cities today. How should we deal with this problem?

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Introduction
It is widely acknowledged that
transportation
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 is one of the most crucial parts
for
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of
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 living in urban areas nowadays. Some
people
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 support the opinion that traffic jams are dramatically
problems
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 in many urban areas.
However
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, from my point of view, I agree with the previous point and have various solution ways to deal with
this
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 problem. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my agreement and solve
in
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apply
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these problem
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this problem
these problems
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 will be outlined.
Body paragraph 1
First
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 of all, I strongly believe that the proportion of
people
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Correct pronoun usage
who tend
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tend
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tends
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 to buy
new
Add an article
a new
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 car are significantly
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 nowadays.
Additionally
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 factors of these causes were from various reasons
such
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 as some countries have awful
transportation
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 and make
people
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 feel
unsecure
Correct your spelling
insecure
, some
transportation
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are
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is
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 too
much
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many
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 expensive
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people
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for people
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literally
Correct pronoun usage
who literally
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 can not
afford
Correct pronoun usage
itafford
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, and some cities
have
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do have
show examples
 not various modes of
transportation
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. It is undeniable that the previous points, I describe
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
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is
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 the
reasonable
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reason
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 why
people
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decides
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decide
show examples
 to acquire
the
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apply
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cars for their living.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, these
problems
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 can
be solve
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be solved
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 by governments actions
Correct word choice
and cooperate
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cooperate
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cooperation
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 with
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people
Correct article usage
the people
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 in
country
Add an article
the country
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.
For example
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, governments are increasing tax prices
from
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for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who have rather than one car,
people
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 change to
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 bicycles
instead
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 of cars, and governments
seriously
Add a missing verb
are seriously
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to invest
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investing
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 a lot of budgets
on
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in
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transportation
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. That all the ideas to deal with these
problems
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I personally agree with
this
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 viewpoint because it seems to me that bad
transportation
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 in some countries are the main
causes
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cause
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in
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of
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seriously
Replace the word
serious
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problems
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about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 traffic jam and it can
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
 by
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and
people
Use synonyms
 who
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in that countries should
be cooperate
Change the verb form
cooperate
show examples
 and
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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