Some think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, company and society. Discuss and give opinion

We are facing
more
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a more
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and more complicated society which lead many
people
to change their
jobs
so often. Some
people
argue that young
people
are easily tired of their work which leads them to find new vocations, but others insist that
people
who have several
jobs
could have more flexibility. In
this
essay, both views will be discussed.
First
of all, as
this
society is getting more changing, sticking
onto
Change preposition
to
show examples
one
job
could guarantee us
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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survive.
For example
,
a
Remove the article
apply
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cutting-edge technology
in
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apply
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several decades ago is not any more the latest technology as changing duration is getting shorter and shorter. To catch up
this
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with this
show examples
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
innovative technology, we keep up
this
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with this
show examples
trend and diversify our
job
skills. We have to encourage
people
to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
update
Change the verb form
updated
show examples
their skills so that they might
Add a missing verb
be multi-skillful
show examples
multi-skillful
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multi-skilful
show examples
which leads to
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
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diverse
jobs
.
On the other hand
, some
people
insist that it might take a long time to master one
job
skill.
People
who have specialized ideas
such
as doctors and lawyers have spent their whole lives
to acquire
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acquiring
show examples
those licenses which make them professional. If they were not trained properly
,
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apply
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and gave up their
jobs
, we might lose
many
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much
show examples
expertise. To provide excellent workers, we have to concentrate on working at one
job
and pour out their whole lives as much as they can. Changing
jobs
could have positive and negative effects on our society, but we have to think that losing good workers could have severe
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
on
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to
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our
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
What we need is
people
who have s special knowledge in certain areas
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diverse experience.
Submitted by seonkorea on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job mobility
  • career progression
  • professional development
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • networking
  • employee turnover
  • workforce allocation
  • job satisfaction
  • skillset diversification
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • job market
  • stagnancy
  • continuous learning
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