IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that computer games are bad for children by all means; others believe that these games are contributing to children’s development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #computer #games #children #children’s #development
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In
modern
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the modern
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 era ,
race
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a race
the race
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 of technology is increasing like a flood.Due to
improvement
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improvements
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 in mechanism gaming trend among
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Correct your spelling
children
childrens
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children
show examples
 is
also
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 very high.some individuals
claims
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claim
show examples
its
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it's
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 beneficial for kids while other reject
this
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 notion .The substantial influence of
this
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 trend has sparked
the
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apply
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controversy over
potential
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its potential
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 influence in recent
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years
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yeas
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years
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.In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will elaborate both the ideas with my relevant view To commence with
nowdays
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nowadays
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games
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 are
very
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a very
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 essential source of technology for developing
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children
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children's
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 mental
ability
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abilities
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.By playing
games
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 younger ones can easily memorize the problems.In
schools
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,schools
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children
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 find
a
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apply
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difficulty in understanding the questions but when they play
games
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 they can easily
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identify
indentify
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identify
 the hard hurdles of the topic
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However
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,However
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 , many ott platforms
has
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have
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 been established like youtube.The
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Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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 who are very good at playing
games
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 started their own channels on youtube which makes them socially active
among
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in
show examples
the
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apply
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society and they
also
Linking Words
 earn money through these channels.
Hence
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, these are the reasons which help in developing
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
mind
Correct subject-verb agreement
minds
show examples
 through gaming. On the flip side,
games
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making
Wrong verb form
make
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 the
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Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
introvert
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introverted
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.The
children
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 who
plays
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play
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games
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 do not like to talk or interact with others which
generate
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generates
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the
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apply
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difficulty
of
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in
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understanding
the
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apply
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society.
Moreover
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, kids getting addicted
towards
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to
show examples
 the
games
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 . They spend
heavy
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a heavy
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 amount of money
over
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on
show examples
 the
games
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 .To
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exemplify
examplify
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exemplify
, in
india
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India
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 the craze
of
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for
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 pubg is very high in
the
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apply
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recent years. for buying the
pubg
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pub
 passes
children
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 spend
ton
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a ton
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 of money .
Thus
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, the abovementioned reasons make the
games
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 harmful for younger ones. In my opinion ,
games
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 are a good source of enhancing the
mind
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mind's
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 ability .It is
also
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 very helpful for the
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Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
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children
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 who find are introverts they can enjoy their own
companies
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company
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 by playing
games
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.
Moreover
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,
the
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apply
show examples
children
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 which are not good
in
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at
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 studying but their gaming skills are clean can make their future
career
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careers
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 in
games
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.so in my view gaming is very beneficial for kids. In conclusion,probably
games
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has
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have
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 some harmful
affects
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effects
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upon
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
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 but their benefits
also
Linking Words
 make the gaming program more efficient.So it is a good way of teaching
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 minds .
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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