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Band 3.5

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be .Do you agree or disagree

#families
The importance of joint families which was always debatable has
mow
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now
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 become more
controversional
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controversial
which
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and
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 many
people
 claim its beneficial while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 reject
this
 notion.The substantial influence of
this
 trend has sparked
the
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apply
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controversy over the potential
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impact
inmpact
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impact
 in
the
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apply
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recent year.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
 happens because the structure of families
shifting
Wrong verb form
shifts
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 from joint to nuclear. Analyzing the statement,and explaining
further
, the
first
 and the foremost reason behind
this
 is that due to heavy
industrilization
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industrialization
industrialisation
 there is a
modernisaton
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modernisation
modernization
 which generates job opportunities.Another striking benefit in
this
 regard is that due to job opportunity
people
 migrate for better future .categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind
this
 is that after
migraton
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migration
 there is
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 impact of global culture and
people
 dislike interference and sharing .so the structure of family changes. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reason
stem
Change to a plural noun
stems
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 from the fact
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that
during
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in
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 past families were
hemogeneous
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homogeneous
 and there
were
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was
show examples
common
Add an article
a common
the common
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 business .Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 culture is heterogenous and
people
 prefer independent growth.
Moreover
,
people
 prefer to work according to their education ,interest , and ability. so the family business is not common and income is not clubbed. To recapitulate, according to the argument
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
aformentioned
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aforementioned
 above one can reach
to
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apply
show examples
the conclusion that it is sad to observe
structure
Add an article
the structure
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 of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 is changing from joint to nuclear.
Submitted by jogtabala987 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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