IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #governments #industries #businesses #move #areas #cities #trend
Nowadays , industries and businesses are on
boom
Correct article usage
a boom
show examples
due to
 technology , and
due to
this
 more and more industries are joining
city
 centres or posh areas of the
city
.
However
, the government
is encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourages
show examples
 settling businesses or industries outside of the
city
 . There are a plethora of advantages which will definitely outweigh its disadvantages.
This
 essay will discuss the same in
further
 paragraphs.
Firstly
,
people
 will stop migrating to the
city
 centre
due to
 their work , which will reduce traffic congestion ,
This
 will help in reducing parking issues as well ,
furthermore
, it will directly impact the rent amount reduction as the market is going crazy day by day.
Moreover
 ,
People
 in regional areas will get more business,
for instance
 , They can open tea or coffee stalls,
also
 they can open restaurants which will help them in earning . One of the more examples is
, It
Correct your spelling
that it
 will be cost-effective for the business owners as they can get leases in less amount.
On the other hand
, there is some downside as well to settling business outside of the
city
 ,
Firstly
, There will be fewer public transport facilities, which will impact
people
 to reach
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 on time , which could possibly tend to reduce their productivity.
Additionally
 , More
people
 will use cars or personal vehicles, which will pollute that regional area and raise traffic congestion .
To sum up
, As the population is increasing and countries need more space for their living ,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
such
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 for the betterment of their countrymen.
Although
 , it has some disadvantages
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can not outweigh the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of
this
 movement .
Submitted by pooja.raikwar27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Focus on clearly presenting a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages. Address all parts of the prompt and provide specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. Use transition words to connect ideas and improve coherence.
Lexical Resource
Work on expanding your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively. Use a variety of words and phrases to avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Vary your sentence structures and use a range of grammatical forms to demonstrate control of English.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • regional areas
  • big cities
  • encouraging
  • industries
  • businesses
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • economic growth
  • overcrowding
  • traffic congestion
  • employment opportunities
  • balanced regional development
  • preservation of natural resources
  • quality of life
  • cultural diversity
  • lack of infrastructure
  • amenities
  • skilled workers
  • impact on the environment
  • decline in the economy
  • social and cultural challenges
  • integrating
  • new industries
What to do next:
Look at other essays: