IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that fresh water should be freely available, while others believe governments should tightly control the use of fresh water as it is limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #water #governments #control #resource
In recent times ,many
people
 believe that abandoning
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
days
 are methods that contain
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 impact
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
aim
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 reducing
air
pollution
.
On the other hand
, other
people
 strongly
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are other processes that could be
taking
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
 and that processes are more helping in reducing
air
pollution
 . Personally speaking , I deeply
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 that there are other methods which are more useful in tackling
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
air
pollution
 issue . In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I’m going to discuss both arguments and outline why I think there are other more useful techniques . To start with , generally ,
car-free
days
 are having many unpleasant feedbacks from the
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 and that’s because it does make their lives harder .
For instance
 , travelling from
one
 point to another could be really difficult and that will lead the majority to hate
car-free
days
 . In spite of the drawbacks of
car-free
days
 , there are several benefits that are worthy to be highlighted .
One
 of them is :
car-free
Correct word choice
that car-free
show examples
days
 always have an immediate difference in
air
pollution
 percentages .
For example
 I
road
Correct your spelling
read
show examples
 in the Devon news that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
 week of
car-free
 could reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
pollution
 from 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Even though
car-free
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a noticeable effect on
air
pollution
;
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are other better ways to deal with
this
 problem . Searchers have provided that
factories
 are
one
 of the main reasons for
air
pollution
(more than cars) . So,
for example
 ,if there is a law that
abolish
Change the verb form
abolishes
show examples
 uneconomical friendly
factories
 ,
factories
 will find a way to produce their goods without harming the environment or causing any
air
pollution
 ;
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
air
pollution
 will be reduced
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
more significant numbers . To sum up ,
air
pollution
 could be solved
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other ways
instead
 of
Add a hyphen
car-free
show examples
car free
Add a hyphen
car-free
show examples
days
 that make
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives harder , I hope governments will take the idea of abolishing unfriendly
factories
 so reducing
air
pollution
 could
be tackles
Change the verb form
be tackled
show examples
 without harming
people
 .
Submitted by noranaboganm on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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