The government's investment in arts, music, and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people indicate that the government's investment in arts,
music
and
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
is a waste of money.
Instead
, they should invest these funds in public services
instead
. In
this
essay, I will explain my view of fully
disagree
Wrong verb form
disagreeing
show examples
and give relevant examples. On the one hand, I think the government should totally invest in
art
and
music
because
art
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
show examples
is a significant part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
people's spiritual life. It
true
Add a missing verb
is true
show examples
that
music
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
us to be happy,
relaxed
Correct word choice
and relaxed
show examples
and it lifts up our mood. According to science, listening to
music
can relieve stress and reduce some symptoms of depression as well.
For example
, through observation and
analyzing
Replace the word
analysis
show examples
, news and people have proof that karaoke stages are more than any other entertainment centre in my country, Vietnam.
Therefore
, it is easy to conclude that
music
is very crucial to our everyday life.
Moreover
,
art
is
also
important to every single human being. I argue that
art
and
music
not only benefit us in entertaining but
also
improve our soft skills and contribute to our inner development. As reported by some researchers, doing activities related to
art
or
music
can improve our memories and stimulate our creativity.
For example
,
art
and
music
have
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
compulsory subjects in many schools all around the world.
Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • public services
  • economic benefits
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • equitable access
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • prioritize
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • tourism
  • global recognition
  • holistic development
  • mutually exclusive
  • philanthropy
  • subsidize
  • infrastructure
  • socio-economic status
  • altruistic
  • civic engagement
  • aesthetics
  • civic pride
  • utilitarian
What to do next:
Look at other essays: