The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Over the years
woman's
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women's
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role in society has changed drastically. A certain segment of individuals
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
that the current issues that happening with kids are happening
due to
this
change as women started working in offices. In my opinion, I firmly stand with
this
notion, and the following paragraphs of
this
essay will analyze two factors which will contribute to the affirmation
as well as
to my opinion.
To begin
with,
mothers
always have become the best carers for their young ones. When it comes to family, I agree both parents are equally responsible for caring for their offspring.
However
, the role of a
mother
is always has been special and it is irreplaceable.
That is
why in most ,families children are always closer to their
mothers
than their fathers.
Moreover
,
mothers
have more caring qualities than fathers.
For example
, a recent report revealed that kids are much closer to their
mother
instead
of their father because their
mother
cares about them a lot.
Secondly
.
mothers
always have been better listeners in the family. The off-springs always need to be listened to by their raisers, because they have doubts and questions than the adults who have lots of experience. In the past, the
mother
was always there for their young ones, and she had time to listen to them.
Hence
, there was no evidence of having the problems that we have in the present.
For instance
, there
is
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are
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a number of illustrations that we can point out
mothers
saving their juveniles by just listening to them, which is a that fathers are not capable of.
To conclude
, I reiterate though the modern lifestyle forces both
the
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apply
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parents to work, a woman's role in the family is
so
Rephrase
more
show examples
vital than a man's as they are the best carers and the best listeners to their kids. So, there is no doubt the modern questions that we see among children are directly related to the change of roles of a woman.
Submitted by sprabasara on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's position and previews the main points to be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the essay with clear paragraph structures and use linking words to improve coherence and cohesion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • evolution
  • domestic roles
  • diverse professional engagements
  • dual-working parents
  • family dynamics
  • juvenile delinquency
  • societal and economic factors
  • dual-income households
  • childcare methods
  • community support systems
  • gender roles
  • family responsibilities
  • professional aspirations
  • development needs
  • correlation
  • simplistic causation
  • workplace policies
  • flexible hours
  • parental leave
  • gender equality
  • role models
  • successful womanhood
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