IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #students #study #science #food #school #time #subjects
The opening statement explains that some
people
 believe that
students
 should learn the
science
 of
food
 and how to prepare it. Others consider that school time should be used in ascertaining important subjects. As mentioned above, two parties are arguing over the learning
science
 of
food
 and making it which has advantages and disadvantages. The disadvantage, the
students
 can not study for more important lessons. Not to mention, learning how to prepare
food
 can be dangerous for young
students
 because they will have to work with fire.
Moreover
,
People
 prepare more
food
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the number of obese
people
 increases.
However
, there are some advantages,
students
 can prepare
food
 themselves so they don't need their parents. At the same time, many children avoid harmful and unbenefit foods.
Thus
,
people
 can be healthier and better chefs. I strongly agree that
students
 should learn the
science
 of
food
 and how to prepare it.
For example
, in America, most parents are working so children have to make
food
 when their parents are at work. The new generation consumes too much fast
food
, coke, and inorganic vegetables but if they learn the
science
 of
food
 they can know which foods to avoid.
For instance
, in Turkey, every child knows where the meat is coming from and how to prepare it for eating.
Thus
 they can understand the difference between healthy meat and unhealthy meat. Thankfully, in the future
people
 will be more conscious. İn China, %90
students
 learn how to make ready their lunch when they are 10 years old.
as a result
, every child knows to make
food
 and if they like it, they can tend to be a chef at an early age. İn conclusion, educating knowledgeable generations should be our priority. Yes, it causes a waste of time for
students
 but overall, every child has to learn how to live alone.
Submitted by emrekaanozkan01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: