Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
argue that colleges should only provide places to excellent students
, while
another school
of thought holds that they should allow all ages
students
, even Correct word choice
if they
they
are fair Correct word choice
if they
students
. In this
essay, I am going to elucidate both viewpoints, before explaining why I lean towards the latter. It is understandable why some people
subscribe to the view that people
of all ages
should be accepted, even if they are not good at school
.
One of major
Correct article usage
the major
rationale
is that education is equal for everybody, Fix the agreement mistake
rationales
any
one has Correct your spelling
and
chance
to study at Add an article
a chance
the chance
school
. For example
, there are a lot of people
have
a dream to go to Correct pronoun usage
who have
school
but they cannot because of family's
economy. These are prime testaments Correct pronoun usage
their family's
how
beneficial Change preposition
of how
people
of all ages
should be allowed to go to school
no matter how their performance. Dispite
the aforementioned benefits, I would opine that concerns regarding colleges should be applied Correct your spelling
Despite
young
Change preposition
to young
students
who have the highest marks seem more justifiable. One of the most crucial point
is that after graduating, university Change to a plural noun
points
students
need to find jobs that are suitable for them, so university knowledge is very important to them. In addition
, If students
can showcase themselves and demonstrate their abilities to teachers, they have a high chance of succeeding in their future jobs. These are prime testaments to the importance of why universities should only admit students
with highest
grades, there are many risks if they accept Correct article usage
the highest
students
with many diffirent
grades. In conclusion, Correct your spelling
different
while
there is no denying that universities should only admit young people
who have the best grades offers
substantial benefits, I am of the opinion that it will be Correct word choice
and offers
imprundent
to discount the importance of Correct your spelling
imprudent
acceptance
Replace the word
accepting
people
of all Change preposition
of people
ages
, regardless of their unwell performance at school
.Submitted by trancaomaitrang on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and addresses both viewpoints adequately. However, it will be more effective to clearly state your opinion in the introduction to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance clarity, make sure to connect ideas more fluidly. Some sentences feel a bit disconnected.
task achievement
While you have supported your main points with examples, they seem general. More specific and detailed examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary sentence structure and avoid repetition of similar phrasing to improve readability.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is clear and provides a roadmap for the essay.
task achievement
You have adequately addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively reiterates your stance while summarizing the main points discussed.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite