With the increasing demand for energy such as oil and gas, people start looking for new sources in remote and untouched places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

With
increasingly
Change the adverb
increasing
show examples
demand for
energy
,
people
start searching some new
sources
in rural
areas
or remote places.
Although
these can invade the wild and disturb
animals
, it allows getting the
energy
supply to maintain
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
economy
and
citizen
Replace the word
civic
show examples
life
. I believe these advantages far outweigh any potential disadvantages. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the main disadvantage that
people
who search for
energy
sources
in
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new area
new areas
show examples
areas
is
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
invaded wild
areas
and disturb wildlife
animals
. Many remote places are still green and these are wild
animals
' accommodations and ecosystems.
For example
, if an
energy
company builds a structure
Correct pronoun usage
that facilitate
show examples
facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
show examples
to find
Change the verb form
finding
show examples
and
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
energy
back to cities, they can destroy many trees inland or coral in the ocean which is home
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
wild and sea
animals
. These can
also
break down
Add an article
the ecosystem
show examples
ecosystem
Fix the agreement mistake
ecosystems
show examples
.
On the other hand
, looking for far
areas
of
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
new sources
a new source
show examples
sources
of
energy
can supply
energy
to maintain
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
economy
and
people
's
life
. Countries are run by the
economy
and their citizen, sustained
energy
source may support
people
's
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
and their activities in
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
For instance
, some countries may lack
energy
sources
and have to import
energy
a lot from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outside nations. These lead to an imbalance of export and import goods and can cause an economic problem. In conclusion, looking for new
sources
of oil and gas can cause invading green
areas
and wild
animals
. I believe that
this
disadvantage is greatly outweighed by the important advantage that supplies
energy
to maintain the
economy
and
people
's
life
.
Submitted by vanil on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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