With the increasing demand for energy such as oil and gas, people start looking for new sources in remote and untouched places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
With
increasingly
demand for Change the adverb
increasing
energy
, people
start searching some new sources
in rural areas
or remote places. Although
these can invade the wild and disturb animals
, it allows getting the energy
supply to maintain country's
Correct article usage
the country's
economy
and citizen
Replace the word
civic
life
. I believe these advantages far outweigh any potential disadvantages.
There are
the main disadvantage that Change the verb form
is
people
who search for energy
sources
in a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new area
new areas
areas
is because
invaded wild Correct word choice
that
areas
and disturb wildlife animals
. Many remote places are still green and these are wild animals
' accommodations and ecosystems. For example
, if an energy
company builds a structure Correct pronoun usage
that facilitate
facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
to find
and Change the verb form
finding
send
Wrong verb form
sending
energy
back to cities, they can destroy many trees inland or coral in the ocean which is home of
wild and sea Change preposition
to
animals
. These can also
break down Add an article
the ecosystem
ecosystem
.
Fix the agreement mistake
ecosystems
On the other hand
, looking for far areas
of a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
new sources
a new source
sources
of energy
can supply energy
to maintain country's
Correct article usage
the country's
economy
and people
's life
. Countries are run by the economy
and their citizen, sustained energy
source may support people
's life
and their activities in Replace the word
lives
everyday
. Replace the word
every day
For instance
, some countries may lack energy
sources
and have to import energy
a lot from the
outside nations. These lead to an imbalance of export and import goods and can cause an economic problem.
In conclusion, looking for new Correct article usage
apply
sources
of oil and gas can cause invading green areas
and wild animals
. I believe that this
disadvantage is greatly outweighed by the important advantage that supplies energy
to maintain the economy
and people
's life
.Submitted by vanil on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite