IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #events #opportunity #show #world #qualities #nation #expense
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All around the
world
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,
Correct your spelling
international
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internationals
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international
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 sporting
events
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 are very well appreciated by many
people
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 and it is an ideal opportunity to show the
world
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 the qualities of hosting a nation.
However
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, some
people
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 believe that these
events
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 are mainly a large unjustified expense. In the following paragraphs, I will give my opinions about the pros and cons of
this
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 statement.
First
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, sporting is
distraction
Add an article
a distraction
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 for
people
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. Even though some
people
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 do not practice sport,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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their hobbies are watching the English football league,
world
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 cup,
Olympic
Correct word choice
and Olympic
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 games. I believe that these activities should be promoted as
people
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 enjoy themselves watching these tournaments.
Moreover
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, it creates social
gathering
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gatherings
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 as well,
for example
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, when there is the
world
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 football cup, we invite friends to watch the final match.
Additionally
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, when an athlete represents his
country
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 in the International games, it does hot only show the pride of his nation, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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also
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 promotes the
country
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's popularity. Inadvertently, it is true that organising big international
sport
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sports
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events
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 are extremely costly due to the grandiose standards they want to show all the time to the audience. Perhaps, it would have been a good idea, while organising
such
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events
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, they collect money for ONGs.
For example
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, twenty
percent
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per cent
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 of tickets sold could be contributed to poor
people
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.
Finally
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, when sports are organised internationally, the culture of different counties are shared among the athletes,
thus
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 friendship and peace are
also
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 created.
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Additionally
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,Additionally
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 the
country
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 hosting these
events
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 get the opportunity to share its culture internationally but
also
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 it is an opportunity to boost
up
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apply
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the economy of the
country
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 with tourists coming to attend the match. In conclusion, we have observed that the advantages of international sports
events
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 are more significant
Correct word choice
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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having
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has
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 drawbacks.
Personally
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,Personally
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 these organisations should continue to be enhanced to keep sport live in all
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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.
Submitted by amandachokupermal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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