IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #science #subjects #country #progress
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There are some people who argue that the
government
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 should invest more
money
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 in teaching
science
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subjects
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,
such
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 as physics, chemistry and biology, for the development and progress of the country. While I agree that
science
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subjects
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 are important nowadays, I disagree with the view that the
government
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 should fund more
science
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subjects
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. On the one hand,
science
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subjects
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 play an important role in helping the development of technology in many countries. By learning
science
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subjects
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,
students
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 can develop abilities in practical scientific experiments, which gives them advantages in choosing the career of engineers or scientists. With more scientific workers entering the industry, the technology of a country could see a higher increase and become more competitive compared to other countries.
In addition
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, advanced technology gives substantial benefits in improving city dwellers' standard of life.
Although
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 I agree with the view that
science
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subjects
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 are critical, I believe that the
government
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 should invest
money
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 in different
subjects
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.
Firstly
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, other
subjects
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 can
also
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 provide skills that are needed in the knowledge-based economy.
For example
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, history lessons can help
students
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 to develop critical thinking skills, as well as art lessons could encourage
students
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' imagination. These skills are essential for
students
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 who want to take psychology or sociology as their career. Without experts in the area of humanity, we would find it difficult to understand ourselves and would be prone to developing severe stress-related diseases.
Secondly
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, if the
government
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 invests more
money
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 in teaching
science
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subjects
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,
students
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 may be less likely to attend other
subjects
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 and may contribute to a labour shortage in other aspects of society, which is negative to the country's economy. In conclusion, even though I agree with the view that
science
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subjects
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 are vital these days, I think the
government
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 should not invest more
money
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 in
science
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subjects
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 than others. Schools should be encouraged to provide a broad and balanced curriculum.
Submitted by irengezc on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • holistic development
  • technological advancements
  • critical thinking
  • cultural awareness
  • sustainable development
  • return on investment (ROI)
  • global competitiveness
  • job market
  • equitable education
  • funding allocation
  • curriculum balance
  • civic responsibilities
  • interdisciplinary approach
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