IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to work harder. Do you agree?

#employers #holidays #employees #work
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Workers should provide a long time to holiday for more productivity.Based On
this
Linking Words
 statement my opinion is different.I strongly believe in there is no strong evidence and experiments available for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longer
vacations
Correct the article-noun agreement
vacation
show examples
 to get a good result in the work performance of the worker.So in
this
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essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I explain very few positive and more negative effects of
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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,On the one ,hand some workers believe in longer leave get positive energy about their work
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because they relax their body and
mind
Use synonyms
.A fresh
mind
Use synonyms
 gets new ideas and a strong
mind
Use synonyms
 setup,with more power in the body
also
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.But on the other ,hand a long vacation makes a person lazier, than who was before ,even if they forget about their duty and responsibility on particular days they only think about how to make more fun and relaxing body and
mind
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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,when an employer goes on vacation
this
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 time
also
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 company need to run
similarly
Linking Words
 before,but the lack of labour productivity has gone down,because of the vacant of a worker who needs to fulfil the
product
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
 new employees should hire, and as a,
inresult
Correct your spelling
result
in result
 the cost goes up and difficult for the owner.
Thirdly
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,Managing
product
Use synonyms
 volume is a headache of interpioniar, whomever insufficient of worker output of
product
Use synonyms
 minimize.If
product
Use synonyms
 cost goes up,
demand
Use synonyms
 goes down.
Demand
Use synonyms
 goes down,income goes down. In conclusion,I strongly stand opposite side in
this
Linking Words
 statement, From the point of view of the employer they face various difficulties like costs going high,
demand
Use synonyms
 going down, the difficulty of managing workers, and labour costs going up.All these reasons I support no longer vacation need to give the employer.
Submitted by bhattaraikeshav2014 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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