IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society
With the innovation of technology, many people are making use of social media to have
an online conversations
Correct the article-noun agreement
an online conversation
online conversations
show examples
instead
 of having
Add an article
a
the
show examples
direct talk. While
this
 development may bring some benefits, I would argue they are eclipsed by drawbacks. On the one hand, face-to-face interaction offers convenience in people's life. Take the airline
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, In the summer vacations, many citizens will come to the airport to purchase tickets for the trip and usually have to wait in a long line, which is time-consuming.
However
, with access to the internet, it only takes 15 minutes to book by online websites.
As a result
, inhabitants will have a sense of comfort since they can avoid crowds and still receive tickets.
On the other hand
, Online users can
also
 face risky issues.
Firstly
, there is a variety of computer hackers who will take advantage of technology to steel steal personal's information.
For instance
, hackers can create counterfeit websites,
such
 as Gucci or Shopee, which require users to fill in the information including passwords.
Additionally
, people will lose their communication and social skills.
This
 can mostly be seen in many presentations due to a lack of practical experience. In conclusion, despite the merits of social media, I believe that the detrimental effects are far more significant.
Submitted by TommyEnderxxxroblox on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: