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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Countries should start using nuclear power as their main source of energy; fossil fuels (i.e. coal, oil and gas) are not going to last forever and nuclear power is the cheapest alternative. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #power #source #energy #fuels #e #oil #gas #alternative
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Nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 comes from splitting atoms in a reactor to heat water in a stream, turn a turbine and generate electricity. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that countries should start using nuclear
power
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 as their main source of
energy
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 as fuels are not going to
last
Linking Words
 eternally and nuclear
power
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 is the cheapest alternative. In the essay, we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the pros and cons of
this
Linking Words
 statement Actually, in many countries, nuclear
energy
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 is being used to produce electricity and the advantage of using
this
Linking Words
 particular type of
energy
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 is that it fights climate change as it provides
carbon free
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carbon-free
show examples
 to the environment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, nuclear
power
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 provides job opportunities to
people
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. Inadvertently, nuclear station requires a large scale for setting up
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 stations and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 require lots of precautionary measures and expert to operate
such
Linking Words
 type of
energy
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. As
such
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,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should sometimes relocate
people
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 to other places to construct
such
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massive
Correct article usage
a massive
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 industry.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in Ukraine, in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1980, there was the incident of
Correct article usage
the Chernobyl
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Chernobyl
Correct the spelling
Chornobyl
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 nuclear station explosion which
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
caused
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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damage
Change to a plural noun
damages
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 to the area and
also
Linking Words
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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killed many
people
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 due to high radiation. I believe that there are other natural resources which can be used apart from nuclear
such
Linking Words
 as solar
energy
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, and wind
energy
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 to produce
power
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. Nowadays, many industries are favouring and providing
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 to individuals to produce their own
energy
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 with
photovoltaic
Add an article
a photovoltaic
show examples
 solar
panel
Fix the agreement mistake
panels
show examples
 to be installed on the roof of their houses. These
people
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 can
also
Linking Words
 sell the excess
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 produced to the authorities. Personally, I do not favour the use of nuclear
power
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, but over the years, we have seen that nuclear
power
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 providing sustainability to the environment.
However
Linking Words
, the government should continue exploring other natural ways to produce electricity or
energy
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.
Submitted by amandachokupermal on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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