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Band 5.5

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amounts #money #adult #life #parents
Most
of
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apply
show examples
the people who were grown
poverty
Change preposition
in poverty
show examples
 or not a huge
amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
amount
show examples
 of
money
 will be more prepared to deal with financial
problems
 and
issues
 rather than
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
 of people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have a
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
 life. I hundred
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 agree with
this
Correct your spelling
statement
statemnt
Correct your spelling
statement
 which in
this
 essay will
Correct your spelling
discuss
disccuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
.
To begin
 with,
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children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 who born in not a wealthy situation and atmosphere have a better
undrestand
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understand
 about financial
issues
, because their
parents
 and family
are always have
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always have
show examples
 to deal with these type of
problems
 and
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children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 in home
wil
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will
 learn from their
gurdians
Correct your spelling
guardians
 and their knowledge will increase about what issue should deal in future.
For example
, a family in
rental
Correct article usage
a rental
show examples
 house has to always save
money
 for their rent, while if they have children, they will learn to always be aware of their
money
 and bills.
Thus
,
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 will learn from their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 behaviour and actions.
However
, the children who
grows
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grow
show examples
in
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up in
show examples
wealthy
Add an article
the wealthy
a wealthy
show examples
 and rich family
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not have any
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perspective
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how
problems
 can be. It means, their
parents
 always buy whatever they want and they do not talk about bills and
such
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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things,
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 their
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children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 will never what
problems
 can happen if
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 do not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
.
For instance
, young
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
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children
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have a rich father
are not worry
Change the verb form
are not worried
show examples
 about their future house or
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vehicle
vehichle
Correct your spelling
vehicle
 because they did not even think about it to find a way or work to make
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
 to reach their
deams
Correct your spelling
dreams
.
Hence
, when
parents
 do not talk about
money
 and financial
issues
 their children will not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
any concern or knowledge about those
problems
. To conclude,
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children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 who were grown
in
Change preposition
up in
show examples
 wealthy
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 have no clues or
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perspective
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 about financial
problems
 or
issues
such
 that,
however
, on
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the
their
ther
Correct article usage
the ther
show examples
 hand in poverty
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 will learn what are the
problems
 and how they can deal with them.
Submitted by jaberi.mahyar on

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