For Many people, the the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Money
is very important in our lives in the time of age, and many people
work
their hardest to earn as much of it as they can. I disagree that people should only
work
for
money
, I believe that working should be about something bigger than
money
.
Firstly
, I fully disagree that
money
should be the main reason that a person works hard. In my opinion, hard
work
should be about
self fulfilment
Add a hyphen
self-fulfilment
show examples
and job satisfaction. Working hardly and
passionatley
Correct your spelling
passionately
passionate
will bring better
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
than working for
money
alone.
For Example
, I started working
into
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in
show examples
IT
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
years back, because that's what I love, and what I know I will succeed in and that
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
in me making more
money
than I could ever imagine.
Secondly
, working hard has to be about improving
someones
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someone's
show examples
skills and abilities. A hard worker will climb the ladders in his company, and showing that it's all he
care
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cares
show examples
about is
money
won't get him up fast. Hard
work
will
improving
Change the verb form
improve
be improving
show examples
someones
Change to a genitive case
someone's
show examples
character and
Correct your spelling
personality
personnalite
Correct your spelling
personality
will
Correct word choice
and will
show examples
force people to recognize
Correct pronoun usage
them for
him for
her for
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his achievements.
For instance
, I was granted a bonus
few
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a few
show examples
weeks back because of my hard
work
, and because
i
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I
show examples
showed no interest in the
money
. In conclusion,
money
must not be the reason for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
show examples
hard
work
. Improving your skills and
Correct your spelling
abilities
abilites
Correct your spelling
abilities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will help you climb the ladder at your company.
In addition
,
self fulfilment
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self-fulfilment
show examples
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
from working for
money
, it will come from working because you love what you are doing.
Submitted by ghamdiyasser on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
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