For Many people, the the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Money
is very important in our lives in the time of age, and many people work
their hardest to earn as much of it as they can. I disagree that people should only work
for money
, I believe that working should be about something bigger than money
.
Firstly
, I fully disagree that money
should be the main reason that a person works hard. In my opinion, hard work
should be about self fulfilment
and job satisfaction. Working hardly and Add a hyphen
self-fulfilment
passionatley
will bring better Correct your spelling
passionately
passionate
result
than working for Fix the agreement mistake
results
money
alone. For Example
, I started working into
IT Change preposition
in
few
years back, because that's what I love, and what I know I will succeed in and that Change the article
a few
result
in me making more Correct subject-verb agreement
results
money
than I could ever imagine.
Secondly
, working hard has to be about improving someones
skills and abilities. A hard worker will climb the ladders in his company, and showing that it's all he Change to a genitive case
someone's
care
about is Change the verb form
cares
money
won't get him up fast. Hard work
will improving
Change the verb form
improve
be improving
someones
character and Change to a genitive case
someone's
Correct your spelling
personality
personnalite
Correct your spelling
personality
will
force people to recognize Correct word choice
and will
Correct pronoun usage
them for
him for
her for
for
his achievements. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, I was granted a bonus few
weeks back because of my hard Change the article
a few
work
, and because i
showed no interest in the Change the capitalization
I
money
.
In conclusion, money
must not be the reason for a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
persons
hard Change to a genitive case
person's
work
. Improving your skills and Correct your spelling
abilities
abilites
Correct your spelling
abilities
,
will help you climb the ladder at your company. Remove the comma
apply
In addition
, self fulfilment
Add a hyphen
self-fulfilment
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
come
from working for Change the verb form
comes
money
, it will come from working because you love what you are doing.Submitted by ghamdiyasser on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite