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Band 5

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?

#people #books #store #internet
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It is hard to deny that the
internet
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 is still a new-born technology compared to
paper
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 and
books
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 which have existed for hundreds of years.
Such
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 a fact leads impressionable
people
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 to generate the opinion that keeping
knowledge
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 on the
internet
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 has many drawbacks.
However
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, as far as
economy
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the economy
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, environment and educational standards are concerned, I strongly hold that we benefit more from
information
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that is
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 put on the
internet
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.
First
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 and foremost, storing
knowledge
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 on the
internet
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 could increase public educational standards as
information
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 can be spread more easily over the
internet
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. To be more specific, you can store as much as
information
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 you want on the
internet
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 and all of it can be checked on any electronic device as long as it is accessible to the
internet
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, there is no constraint on location or time. While the more
knowledge
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 is contained in a book, the thicker and heavier it will be. And
people
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 can only access the
knowledge
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 in that book if they buy or borrow it.
Thus
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, it would be much more convenient to share and spread
knowledge
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 through the
internet
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 as
people
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 are more willing to store and access
information
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 on the
internet
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.
Furthermore
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, the fact that keeping
information
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 on the
internet
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 does not require the use of
paper
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 indicates that it is very eco-friendly. Take the case of my friend as an example, who shifted the way of studying
last
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 year. Starting from
then
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, he made all his notes on a laptop and read electronic
books
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instead
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 of real
books
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.
As a result
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, his personal consumption of
paper
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 has declined by over 95%.
Therefore
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, storing
knowledge
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 on the
internet
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 enables
people
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 to reduce their usage of
paper
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, which could save large amounts of water in
paper
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 production as well as prevent deforestation to some extent.
However
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, a voice arises that storing
information
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 on the
internet
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 prevents poor
people
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 from accessing
knowledge
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 as they might find it hard to afford electronic devices.
This
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 viewpoint ignores the reality that
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 have already become a necessity in our every life.
People
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 who
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not able to buy these devices would
also
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 face difficulties in purchasing
books
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 or other forms of learning.
Besides
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, once
people
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 have their own devices, they can attain all of
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledges
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knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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in
Change preposition
on
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 the
internet
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, which saves large amounts of money to buy
books
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 every year.
Therefore
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, accessing
knowledge
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 through
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 could in fact be a more economical option. In conclusion, I believe the whole society could be influenced by the online conservation of
knowledge
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 in a positive way.
Submitted by Yanjun-du on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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