After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Do you agree or disagree?

Many people hold the view that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescence after graduation from higher education ought to select an occupation that they appreciate.
However
others for the
assignment
that proven the most compensation.
This
essay agrees wholeheartedly that
assignment
satisfaction is
crucial
Correct quantifier usage
more crucial
show examples
than
Add an article
a well
show examples
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
profession
in light
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that doing a desirable activity is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
key to realization and that
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
make fulfilment. On the one
hand
, the appointment that a
person
opt
Change preposition
for
show examples
remains with him for life, and
therefore
they need to sort out it wisely and with preferences, and
then
he will
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
it with
desires
Fix the agreement mistake
desire
show examples
, to illuminate,juvenile from the early stages of development begin to select a
profession
, they must choose them due to their abilities and talents
Add the comma(s)
, in addition,
show examples
in addition
doing what
thay
Correct your spelling
they
applicate, encourage them to keep themselves motivated and,
thus
this
will lead to career growth,
as a
result
of which
thay
Correct your spelling
they
reach high
paeks
Correct your spelling
peaks
in the business
that is
way, after completing their higher studies,they must follow their delight situation.
On the other
hand
, working with
an
Change the article
a
show examples
substandard task will lead to melancholy and
Correct your spelling
health
helth
Correct your spelling
health
problems.For
Correct your spelling
instance
inctence
Correct your spelling
instance
,the individuals who decided to
work
because of the salary
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
particular,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work
a lot under pressure and stress and
therefore
they do not have time to take care of themselves or relax.
Consequently
,they faced
Correct your spelling
health
helth
Correct your spelling
health
issues at an older age. In conclusion, it is clear that the choice of
race
, which a teenager chooses by preference, has many advantages over choosing a
race
just for the sake of wealth. If a
person
sincerely likes what they do, their chances of success are quite high,
as a
result
of which money will follow them.
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescence
Replace the word
adolescents
show examples
after graduation from higher education ought to select an occupation that they appreciate.
However
others for the
assignment
that proven the most compensation.
This
essay agrees wholeheartedly that
assignment
satisfaction is
crucial
Correct quantifier usage
more crucial
show examples
than
Add an article
a well
show examples
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
profession
in light
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that doing a desirable activity is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
key to realization and that
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
make fulfilment. On the one
hand
, the appointment that a
person
opt
Change preposition
for
show examples
remains with him for life, and
therefore
they need to sort out it wisely and with preferences, and
then
he will
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
it with
desires
Fix the agreement mistake
desire
show examples
, to illuminate,juvenile from the early stages of development begin to select a
profession
, they must choose them due to their abilities and talents
Add the comma(s)
, in addition,
show examples
in addition
doing what
thay
Correct your spelling
they
applicate, encourage them to keep themselves motivated and,
thus
this
will lead to career growth,
as a
result
of which
thay
Correct your spelling
they
reach high
paeks
Correct your spelling
peaks
in the business
that is
way, after completing their higher studies,they must follow their delight situation.
On the other
hand
, working with
an
Change the article
a
show examples
substandard task will lead to melancholy and
Correct your spelling
health
helth
Correct your spelling
health
problems.For
Correct your spelling
instance
inctence
Correct your spelling
instance
,the individuals who decided to
work
because of the salary
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
particular,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work
a lot under pressure and stress and
therefore
they do not have time to take care of themselves or relax.
Consequently
,they faced
Correct your spelling
health
helth
Correct your spelling
health
issues at an older age. In conclusion, it is clear that the choice of
race
, which a teenager chooses by preference, has many advantages over choosing a
race
just for the sake of wealth. If a
person
sincerely likes what they do, their chances of success are quite high,
as a
result
of which money will follow them.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: