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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should invest in teaching science subjects rather than other subjects for country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

#government #science #subjects #country #development #progress
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he
Correct your spelling
The
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last
Linking Words
 century has witnessed the booming of car industries, and there are more and more cars driving on the road nowadays.
That is
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, the introduction of private transportation surely enhances the mobilities of
people
Use synonyms
 living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban.
However
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, from my perspective, there is a desperate need for
vehicle-free
Add an article
the vehicle-free
a vehicle-free
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Use synonyms
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
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 since the so-called automobile still brings a lot of inconveniences. It is undoubted that the scooter or car brings us to a more convenient world with the soaring proportion of
cars
Change the noun form
car
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 ownership.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, for those who demand to drive to work every
day
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, private transportation allows them to commute to every place even every time. There is no need to concern that leaving the office at midnight and the metro doesn't available.
Also
Linking Words
, it is suitable for commodities that are transited by truck, which is not limited by rail, making it more effective.
Last
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 but not least, when we walk or ride bicycles in the city, the weather is a vital condition that we have to confront, while
people
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 who are behind the wheel
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
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influence
Correct pronoun usage
usinfluence
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.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, a
day
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that is
Linking Words
 only for the MRT, cycle and buses still
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 a different aspect to the city as it makes
people
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 healthier not only physical but mental.
First
Linking Words
 of all, needless to say, taking the subway or train truly reduces air pollution, letting
people
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 breathe pure air.
Secondly
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, the
banned
Change the form of the verb
ban
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 on automobile prevent
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a
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pedestrian from getting hurt, decreasing the number of traffic accident.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the
day
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 car-free alleviates the circumstances of congestion. During rush hour, it is not weird to see that the road becomes a "dynamic parking place" and the path is filled with loud hink because of the
serve
Replace the word
service
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 traffic jam. With the car-free
day
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, we may experience silence, peace and a fast city, which is very worth trying. In sum, there is some advantage to riding the scooter or driving the car to commute to another place, but if there is an option of a
vihicle
Correct your spelling
vehicle
-free
day
Use synonyms
 there is still a lot of advantages that encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to give it a shot.
Submitted by 15270918998 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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