In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?
It is true that individual consumption has generally increased in the world today, among
people
in both developed and developing countries
. While
this
should lead to increasing happiness, particularly in developed countries
where consumption is greater, this
is not always the result. It is necessary to explore and understand the reasons for this
. I would argue that people
are happier when they have a useful role to play in their community, but societies are breaking down. One major factor is the growing influence of commercial advertising, which has helped to create today’s consumer society. Its influence is global, but its chief target audience is consumers in developed countries
,
because they have the greatest spending power. Another factor is the population shift of Remove the comma
apply
people
to cities. Over half the world’s population live in cities, but in Japan and the USA, for example
, the figures are more than 90% and 80% respectively. Cities are concrete jungles, where social bonds no longer exist and people
feel a sense of alienation. Lessons should be learned. Firstly
, advertising must be restricted and monitored by government agencies, so that they no longer promote greed and selfishness in order to maximise profits. I believe that people
with a social conscience are disillusioned with a life based on consuming more and more. Secondly
, urban spaces must be redesigned to include the demolition of highrise
buildings and the construction of social and community centres where Add a hyphen
high-rise
people
can find happiness through a feeling of community and organise their own activities. In conclusion, although
economic growth has created more wealth, the ethical focus in all countries
must now be on re-building
communities to create a happier and more just world.Correct your spelling
rebuilding
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite