some people think that it would be better for large companies and Industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centres do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Industries
play a vital role in the nation's economy . Many big cities have developed with the help of big companies and
industries
. It not only helps economically but
also
provides lots of job opportunities. One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people who believe that it would be beneficial to move companies and
industries
to rural space . It is a quite controversial topic across the globe. There is a conflicting argument related to its pros and cons .
Although
there are myriad benefits yet have some demerits
also
. In
further
paragraphs, I will elaborate on the consequences. To embark , if we have a deep look at the statement we will certainly be able to identify a good number of reasons why individuals think
this
way . first and foremost ,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it has been known that Capital provide a huge range of jobs with a better salary
.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
therefore
, every year tons of people from the countryside come
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
downtown in search of a good job
.in
Correct your spelling
As
consequence
Correct article usage
a consequence
show examples
, it leads to overpopulated which caused numerous problems like air pollution, water pollution, shortage of House and food and many more .so if these commerce shift to the countryside
then
the places will be developed .
Secondly
, as we know agriculture
Play
Correct subject-verb agreement
Plays
show examples
a vigorous role in the food industry . In the
last
decade, it can be seen that so many farmers came to big cities in search of better employment because they didn't get modern facilities in rural
areas
.
As a result
, it vividly affected our food
industries
.so
Correct your spelling
so
it would be very beneficial if
industries
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
to rural
areas
as they
also
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
the chance to use modern technology to make their life easier.
Last
but not least . It will help to reduce pollution in the cities .
For instance
, so many
industries
Change noun form
industries'
industry's
show examples
waste
thrown
Add a missing verb
is thrown
show examples
into rivers or ponds which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
many problems .it would be great to build
such
management in less populated
areas
.
Correct your spelling
so
therefore
, people can live peacefully . On the paradoxical side,
although
there are myriad benefits but yet there are some cons
also
available. To start with , transportation would be a bit difficult if the business moved to rural
areas
. It would be quite challenging to deliver the products on time as the companies will be situated far from the Capital .
For example
, the company named Amazon have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
policy to deliver its products in 2 days . If they move to the countryside it would be impossible to deliver products door to door in a short time period.
Secondly
, in order to build buildings in rural
areas
,we have to cut the forest. It will affect our ecosystem . In conclusion . The statement has conflicting arguments about the pros and cons.
Although
there are some demerits
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it can be said that if we work together and take the responsibilities the advantages outweigh the drawbacks
Submitted by shyamal017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure to ensure better flow and organization of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support the main points in your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: