IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Directors of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers. Employer’s organization say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent. What are your views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Talent acquisition and retention are most difficult for a
company
Use synonyms
, if you have a talented worker
then
Linking Words
 it is a gem. If the top-level employee has some unique talent,
then
Linking Words
 the
company
Use synonyms
 appreciate the
work
Use synonyms
 and gives monetary rewards.
This
Linking Words
 type of worker should be required to achieve the employer's vision and goals so they do not have taken to many parts in day-to-day
work
Use synonyms
. To commence with , for a growing
company
Use synonyms
 it is required that the top leaders have the talent to build the team and lead. they have the ability that how to make plans and them implement. ,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 they are having separate plans, visions, missions and goals and achieve that.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
 guide the other employee and helps them, solve their problems and complete targeted
work
Use synonyms
. Companies always try to fulfil the demands in terms of a high percentage of increment of giving some stake in the
company
Use synonyms
. In the
market
Add a comma
,market
show examples
 there are fewer,
this
Linking Words
 type of people who have the technical know-how and strength to
work
Use synonyms
 on it. In ,addition directors have more power with responsibility and have the capacity to take risks and with knowledge and ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience they will be successful.
for example
Linking Words
, a Few days ago in a newspaper,paper there is news regarding the appraisal given by the
company
Use synonyms
 which is a 150% hike with a 5% stake in the
company
Use synonyms
. In my point of ,view if the
company
Use synonyms
 have efficient directors
then
Linking Words
, it is valid to give suge huge increment, they prove themself and
also
Linking Words
 grow the
company
Use synonyms
 to top level in that particular industry.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: