Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose

People

tend to have different views about the function of

museums

. Some think that they should be a place for enjoyment,

while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others are certain, that it is important for them to be

educational

Replace the word

educated

show examples

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will discuss both views and state my opinion. On one hand, it can be said that the main role of

museums

is to be a place of entertainment. If there is going to be too much educational content, some visitors might become bored and that way

less

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

people

will be interested in visiting places like that.

Nevertheless

museums

are tourist attractions and attract many visitors in general, so

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

part of society thinks, that they should emphasize

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

enjoyment, create more interactive activities or some sort of games

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that the exhibitions could be more entertaining for

people

of all ages and that way more

people

would take interest in visiting places like that.

On the other hand

, a big part of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society believes that not everything in

this

world should be all about fun and games. They are sure that the main point of any exhibition is to help

people

learn about something they did not know previously.

This

means that the story behind every exhibit should be explained, and

this

can be done in various ways. Some

museums

have professional guides, and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others offer audio guides

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that the visitors can listen to a commentary about every single object and explore them by themselves. That way

people

do not have to read long and boring descriptions and

then

museums

can play a big part in helping

people

broaden their knowledge in many different aspects of life.

To conclude

, I believe that

museums

should be a place, where you can do both – broaden your knowledge and have some fun at the same time. Especially when there are various

Submitted by oimigle on Wed Sep 28 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

311 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time to ensure better opportunities in the future. Others are of the opinion, job during study distracts the individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. Why is this happening? How should they be punished?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and give your own opinion.