IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose
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There has been discussion revolving around the issue of whether
museums
Use synonyms
 are a
place
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 where
people
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 get educated or it is an amusing
Use synonyms
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 to get entertained. I tend to believe that
exhibition
Correct article usage
the exhibition
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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 should be a
place
Use synonyms
 of education. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will explain my opinion. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that
museums
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 are tourist’s biggest attraction
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place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 who come to visit any country tend to stop by the
museums
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 to be entertained. It is that because places like
this
Linking Words
 manage to put exhibitions that are interesting or somehow
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
appealing to the customers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is a perfect
place
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 to entertain
children
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.
For example
Linking Words
, it sparks
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 curiosity and
get
Change the verb form
gets
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 them to be excited
for
Change the preposition
about
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 school. It is for
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
 reason that
museums
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 are predisposed to have exhibitions that keep
children
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 interested.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others may claim that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the museums
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museums
Change noun form
museums'
museum's
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 goal is to educate. To start with,
children
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 or adults who are going to
museums
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 learn about different cultures,
historical
Correct word choice
and historical
show examples
 events and it can develop the perfect mindset for young
people
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 which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 sympathize or identify with other
people
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. Another argument can be made that it allows
people
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 to find their interests in life through authentic demonstrations that are held in
museums
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. Having considered both views I believe that
museums
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 are beneficial for educational purpose because it helps to find yourself and
ne
Correct your spelling
new
 interests which can lead to expanding your mind and worldview later on in life.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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