IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information,such as their hobbies and interests,and whether they are married or single.some people say that this information may be relevant and useful.Others disgree. discuss both these views and give your openion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests #disgree #openion
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During the time of interviews,managers or interviewers ask some personal questions like hobbies and interests,married or unmarried
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
candidate apply for a job.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
Linking Words
 process is natural and very important for employers,They need to know the
Use synonyms
employee
Change noun form
employee's
show examples
 internal feelings and interests for good output.In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views and try to give what is the right way of thinking
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
about this
show examples
 topic. At the very
first
Linking Words
 there are several reasons behind asking an internal question at the time of joining
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
employee
Use synonyms
,the main reason is to know the
employee
Use synonyms
's mindset for him/herself and towards the company as well.If you know someone very well you will make a strong relationship with them.After understanding worker behaviour, the boss can use their energy in the right way for productivity.Another reason is easy responsibility distribution,after well known personal interests,
however
Linking Words
,knowing
employee
Use synonyms
 weakness and strength as well personal interest boss Handel easily to their colleges.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,certain people think asking for interpersonal
information
Use synonyms
 before joining work is unnecessary.
Firstly
Linking Words
, employees feel uncomfortable telling personal
information
Use synonyms
, and most of the ladies feel unsecured about sharing their own
information
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, everyone wants to keep it secret. In conclusion, I strongly believe that everyone has the right to keep suspense about their internal inpromatint,but it is
also
Linking Words
 extremely important to know employe all
information
Use synonyms
 to affect
affect
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
work performance.They can maintain good
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other,
however
Linking Words
, they can help to improve their performance and increase productivity,chance to grow
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 overall performance.The employer should arrange and keep confidential
information
Use synonyms
 and keep secrete all of their
Use synonyms
employee
Change to a plural noun
employees
show examples
 after they know their required
information
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bhattaraikeshav2014 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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