IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason some job are better done by men and others by women. do you agree or disagree?

5.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Male and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 are different in
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their personality and behaviour. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion that some
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 are better for
women
Use synonyms
 and some for
men
Use synonyms
 and in the following essay I will give the
reason
Use synonyms
 clearly.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, both gender
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 different
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physically,
mentally
Correct word choice
and mentally
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, science
also
Linking Words
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that
men
Use synonyms
 have more power to do hard and heavy
work
Use synonyms
 because of the
body
Change noun form
body's
show examples
 energy and
structural
Replace the word
structure
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, more labour
work
Use synonyms
 like agriculture and factories and machinery related word
doing
Wrong verb form
done
show examples
 by males rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
women
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, in the many factors recorded
men
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Linking Words
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
 main
reason
Use synonyms
 is that, safety and
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
 responsibility.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
 instance, in many countries
women
Use synonyms
 are not so safe to
work
Use synonyms
 every place
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any time because of
this
Linking Words
 some
work
Use synonyms
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 are different two
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them,
however
Linking Words
, the other
reason
Use synonyms
 is
women
Use synonyms
 have more
responsibility
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
show examples
 like kids and household related to they can do every word
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 and
men
Use synonyms
 can do.
As a result
Linking Words
, in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are few rape
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 done in past years so parents do not allow their lady child to
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
night shifts.
Hence
Linking Words
, less safety
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 the main
reason
Use synonyms
 for
difference
Add an article
the difference
show examples
 between the
work
Use synonyms
 type.
Body paragraph 3
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the opposite
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 agree,in the present day
women
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 so hard working and safe. To explain it,
women
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 related to 'IT' Medical related field as well as in factories for labour
work
Use synonyms
 girls and boy are equal. To clear
this
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed nation like
usa
Correct your spelling
USA
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
Uk
 Canada
women
Use synonyms
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 freely anytime anywhere.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 are
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 are different by
body
Add an article
the body
a body
show examples
 by strength
also
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 have more home
Correct your spelling
work
show examples
word
Correct your spelling
work
show examples
 to do
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 other life
also
Linking Words
depent
Correct your spelling
depends
 it. But
also
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 and do anything which
men
Use synonyms
 do.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
It
Correct your spelling
If
show examples
 I stand in my point that both have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their ability.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: