The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate student who did not

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate student who did not
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The bar chart demonstrates what British
alumnus
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alumni
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and postgraduates did except for full-time employers after their graduation in 2008.
Overall
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,
further
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study was the most common choice among both
alumnus
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alumni
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and postgraduates,
whereas
Linking Words
voluntary work was done by the least amount of students from each group.
Also
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, most of the figures for
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the doctor
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doctor
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doctors
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were ten times higher than the figures for postgraduates.
To begin
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with, the figure for alum, who studied by
further
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education was the highest, standing at approximately 30,000. The next most popular choice among graduate students was part-time workers who were around 17,000, slightly higher than unemployed alum.
In contrast
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, the least number of alum did voluntary work, which was 3500. It is clear to see from the illustration that most of the postgraduate students decided to study
further
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(2725) or do a part-time job (2535).
Moreover
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, less than 2000 postgraduate scholars were unemployed in the given year,
whereas
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only 345 people from
this
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group worked voluntarily.
Submitted by enkhzaya.bold on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, whereas".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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