Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Over recent years, students labour
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somehow
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some how
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somehow
show examples
became a trend. Technology development pace in these days,
leeds
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Leeds
show examples
to teenagers access to many inputs
such
as knowledge about
diffrent
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different
skills. According to
this
, many of them are willing to start learning something that can earn money from it. Some of them are trying to make their little online business. Another group of them participate in workshops or study online resources to achieve
new
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a new
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skill set.
This
is a satisfying reason for parents who
are agree
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agree
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with their
childern
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children
working. Because they feel good about hard and soft skills that their child
learn
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learns
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during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Add a hyphen
part-time
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part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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work.
On the other hand
, some
of
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apply
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children
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children's
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rights activists always emphasize
on
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apply
show examples
the importance of
teenagers
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teenagers'
teenager's
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free time. They believe that kids and teenagers should use their after-school time to play, learn and have fun and each activity that causes
to
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apply
show examples
making
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make
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money from them
,
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apply
show examples
is a kind of child abuse.
This
opinion is actively trying to protect
health
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the health
show examples
and happiness of childhood According to my own opinion, moderation is
main
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the main
show examples
standard to decide
in
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on
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every issue. In relation to
this
argument
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,argument
show examples
I believe
same
Correct article usage
the same
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. As
I'm
Unnecessary verb
I
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thinking, we should respect our
children
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children's
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adolescence and remember that
this
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these
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ages are
golden
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a golden
the golden
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period of their life to learn, grow and be happy and free.
I'm not actually agree
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I do not actually agree
show examples
with having a job
in
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at
show examples
these ages, and
on
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in
show examples
my opinion, we can make our
children
disciplined, responsible and more strong with some hobbies, games or learning
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
that are not against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their freedom and happiness; No need to encourage
children
to work.
Submitted by nazli.akmaly on

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Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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