Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology, and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

It is undeniable that artsy tasks play a pivotal role in the process of continuity of tradition

Correct your spelling

this

Linking Words

con-current

Correct your spelling

current

show examples

age.

Nevertheless

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, a very small number of individuals are inclined toward it and are finding their interest in the subjects of science, commerce, and technology. I opine that there are tons of reasons to increase

this

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propensity

likewise

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less a payment system for artists and less importance of artwork in the school curriculum. In

this

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discourse, I will explore why

this

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predicament occurs and what are the antidotes to create eagerness in

this

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sector, by citing examples.

Firstly

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, among various types of facts, it is a

well-worth

Correct your spelling

well-known

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point that artists are paid a low quantity compared to other professionals.

For example

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, in Bangladesh, if we compare the monthly salary of a teacher or a bank manager, which is around 60,000 to 80,000

taken

Verb problem

apply

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per month;

whereas

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, a painter or a musician can hardly earn 20,000 to 30,000 taka each month and

that is

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the greater distinguish. Beyond

this

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, in the school syllabus, from the elementary period to secondary school, even if the artistic activity is added, there is no proper practice on it; resulting in

this

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view, most folks lose their enthusiasm for it. Not only

this

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nub but

also

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when any student tries to do

this

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phenomenon, he or she cannot don't owing to not having a perfect trainer about it.

As a result

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, we have observed -the "no practice, no interest"-trend.

Nonetheless

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, a multitude of initiatives can be taken to enhance the significant quality of interest.

According to

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my earlier statement, if the state authority addresses the drawbacks and tries to offer jobs with healthy and equal allowance packages to all occupational sides, there is a high possibility of people gaining back the demands in

this

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aspect. Another crucial strategy is that if a balance in the education system for practising it with skills trainer, these trends can

be created

Wrong verb form

create

show examples

the wants of arts again.

For instance

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, there is a viable combination of equal payment jobs and proper text rules in all kinds of educational systems for artwork; because

this

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task never loses its incredible importance in India.

To conclude

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, by increasing the pay scale for the employment of the arts, and

besides

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that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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improving the whole curriculum in numerous educational institutions with proper guidance by mentors, the new generation could be attached to

this

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occupation and it is certainly needed for protecting our culture.

mosumi431985

Oct 2, 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion to create a more coherent structure.

task achievement

Ensure all subtopics are fully addressed and provide clearer examples to support your main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

407 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancement
Economic growth
STEM subjects
Job security
Financial success
Pragmatic
Utilitarian pursuits
Art education
Inclusive
Engaging
Contemporary society
Social issues
Environmental themes
Digital platforms
Virtual museums
Interactive art

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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology, and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanization process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others, however, deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion on that issue?