IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people prefer to directly help or support people in need in the local community. However, others choose to give money to the national or international organizations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #support #community #money #organizations
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 opt to straight endorse the community that needs help in the vicinity.
Nevertheless
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, there are some
people
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 who firmly prefer to invest
money
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 in
organizations
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. Helping
people
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 who lack main living resources has gained more important nowadays, so
people
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 have been confused to select a
way
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 which is suitable for them. In
this
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 essay, I will explain that international charity
organizations
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 are a convenient
way
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 to help poor
people
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 live far away.
Firstly
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, directly help leads to cause some problems
such
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 as misunderstanding and misconception.
Although
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people
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 who need help may face a big health problem, we just give them a small effect on their lives since we cannot look elaborately.
This
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 lack of
aid
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 cannot overwhelm everything, so it might be regarded as a huge implementation for somebody but it doesn’t solve anything.
For example
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, buying a piece of bread for the poor one doesn’t create a sustainable
way
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 and proper help, so it seems as if all the needs had been met.
However
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, nowadays
people
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 have gained a conscious by the following advertisements to help
people
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 that can receive
aid
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 in a proper
way
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. It is providing a resolution to a lot of
people
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's difficulties when it comes to
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aid
Change the verb form
aiding
show examples
. The
organizations
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 curtail any vague problems and focus on needs. They have a transparent scheme, so
people
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 can track their
money
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. They
also
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 gather huge
money
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 and they can trigger huge campaigns undoubtedly all around the world.
For instance
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, especially in Africa where
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 huge poor population can get straight effects in
this
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way
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, they can contribute to developing facilities and
aid
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 campaigns. In conclusion, if more
people
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 select international
organizations
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,
people
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 can get proper
aid
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. We have to promote them to invest their
money
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 in legal
organizations
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 because they take part in an effort to help easily.
In addition
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, they try
Submitted by ibrahimccet on

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