In many countries women no longer feel the need to het married some people believe that this is because women are able to that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security That marriage can bring To what extend do you agree

#countries #women #het #people #income #security #marriage

İn many countries

women

do not need to get married. Some individuals think that

because

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

women

can earn

her

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

salary and

therefore

do not need the financial support that

marriage

brings. I do not agree with

this

opinion because

marriage

is necessary for good communication and sustaining

family

Add an article

the family

a family

show examples

Firstly

marriage

is not

obligation

Add an article

an obligation

show examples

but it is essential.

Women

earns

Change the verb form

earn

show examples

money

or not they need

marriage

for

maining

Correct your spelling

remaining

mining

family. Research carried out by CNN revealed that getting married is

indispensable

Add an article

an indispensable

show examples

thing for

people

. İf

people

do not married they will not make a family. Life would be difficult without family. In my opinion, İf individuals do not marry

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

will

Correct your spelling

influence

influenced

influnce

Add a missing verb

be influnce

show examples

by it.

For example

, the world population will decrease and immigration will increase because every country will need a community.

Secondly

women

can earn

money

without financial support but they need to life

partner

Fix the agreement mistake

partners

show examples

being

Change the form of the verb

show examples

happy.

An extensive

Remove the article

Extensive

show examples

research conducted by CNBC revealed that the biggest

sadness

Replace the word

sad

show examples

reason is being lonely.

People

need to

someone

for talking ,love and spend time

Change preposition

with.

show examples

The best way is

marry

Change the verb form

to marry

marrying

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

someone

for

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

people

were lonely they can not find

someone

to spend time

therefor

Correct your spelling

therefore

show examples

they need to marry. Earning

money

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not change

this

circumstance because

money

does not untangle some type of problems.

People

are exceptional they can not solve

Add an article

the problem

a problem

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

without

life

Add an article

a life

show examples

partner.

people

should find who is very trustworthy afterwards they should marry

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

him or her. To conclude, being unmarried and earning

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own

money

can not solve all

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

therefore

people

need to marry

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

someone

for sustaining family and happiness.

Submitted by brsson06 on Mon Oct 03 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries women no longer feel the need to het married some people believe that this is because women are able to that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security That marriage can bring To what extend do you agree

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Write about the following topic: Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. Do you agree

In future, robots may do more of the work that is done by humans today. would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?