Director and mangers are mostly older people. Some people believe young people will become better leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many

people

Use synonyms

believe that older

people

Use synonyms

take responsibility as a director and managers. There are others who firmly argue that young adults will be excellent leaders.

Since to

Correct word choice

show examples

get a high rank in any sector, age is

thought

Verb problem

apply

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a requirement

that is

Linking Words

overlooked by your background assessment. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain that entailed age is unnecessary for any area, as

this

Linking Words

has to give a chance to more young adults as executive members, they could improve the work by adding their unprecedented creativity.

Firstly

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, older

people

Use synonyms

have been thought of as good leaders without any doubt since the beginning of history. Since

this

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is an outdated idea in common belief, in today’s world, it

leads

Verb problem

apply

show examples

causes inevitable problems because they have a big enthusiasm to resolve them.

Therefore

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, they swiftly focus on unpredictable and vague problems

then

Linking Words

they can quickly adapt to an abrupt change.

For example

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, a well-known social media platform was established by a young entrepreneur who was just

only

Rephrase

apply

show examples

in their 20s. It is shown that a decision can be

undertaken

Verb problem

made

show examples

by young adults.

However

Linking Words

, there is a common belief in the community that

people

Use synonyms

's minds can gain a good vision when

it has

Verb problem

they

show examples

aged

Wrong verb form

age

show examples

. Most big organization choose their leaders from the old generation. They think that they have a glamorous experience which contributes to the running of the company.

For instance

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, chief executive officers always are in their 50s.

In addition

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, their employees can respect their backgrounds.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, sometimes lack of knowledge in their lives is a main contributing factor that they cannot look widely. In conclusion, undertaking responsibility in a huge company is a hard decision for both employer and employee. There is a thin line between choosing and undertaking. I think that if a company just focus on

people

Use synonyms

skills, it can

Verb problem

have

show examples

much more potential than what they want.

ibrahimccetTue Oct 04 2022

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay needs improvement to ensure coherent and organized presentation of ideas. Each paragraph should contribute to the overall flow and development of the argument.

task achievement

The essay lacks a clear and comprehensive response to the question provided. The argument is not fully developed and specific examples are lacking. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall development of the main idea and provides relevant examples to support the argument.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Director and mangers are mostly older people. Some people believe young people will become better leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative mmedicines and treatmens instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this case ? do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?

There are many things that motivate people at work. What do you think is the best motivation at work?

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centers. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?