Director and mangers are mostly older people. Some people believe young people will become better leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many

people

believe that older

people

take responsibility as a director and managers. There are others who firmly argue that young adults will be excellent leaders.

Since to

Correct word choice

show examples

get a high rank in any sector, age is

thought

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a requirement

that is

overlooked by your background assessment. In

this

essay, I will explain that entailed age is unnecessary for any area, as

this

has to give a chance to more young adults as executive members, they could improve the work by adding their unprecedented creativity.

Firstly

, older

people

have been thought of as good leaders without any doubt since the beginning of history. Since

this

is an outdated idea in common belief, in today’s world, it

leads

Verb problem

apply

show examples

causes inevitable problems because they have a big enthusiasm to resolve them.

Therefore

, they swiftly focus on unpredictable and vague problems

then

they can quickly adapt to an abrupt change.

For example

, a well-known social media platform was established by a young entrepreneur who was just

only

Rephrase

apply

show examples

in their 20s. It is shown that a decision can be

undertaken

Verb problem

made

show examples

by young adults.

However

, there is a common belief in the community that

people

's minds can gain a good vision when

it has

Verb problem

they

show examples

aged

Wrong verb form

age

show examples

. Most big organization choose their leaders from the old generation. They think that they have a glamorous experience which contributes to the running of the company.

For instance

, chief executive officers always are in their 50s.

In addition

, their employees can respect their backgrounds.

Nevertheless

, sometimes lack of knowledge in their lives is a main contributing factor that they cannot look widely. In conclusion, undertaking responsibility in a huge company is a hard decision for both employer and employee. There is a thin line between choosing and undertaking. I think that if a company just focus on

people

skills, it can

Verb problem

have

show examples

much more potential than what they want.

Submitted by ibrahimccet on Tue Oct 04 2022

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay needs improvement to ensure coherent and organized presentation of ideas. Each paragraph should contribute to the overall flow and development of the argument.

task achievement

The essay lacks a clear and comprehensive response to the question provided. The argument is not fully developed and specific examples are lacking. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall development of the main idea and provides relevant examples to support the argument.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Director and mangers are mostly older people. Some people believe young people will become better leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract more local people to these museums?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?