Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, tehcnology and business. Why do you that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #tehcnology #business #interest #arts

Art

has been playing a crucial role in various nations for many centuries.

Nevertheless

, the number of people who admire and respect

this

field is decreasing year by year, and

new

Change the adjective

newly

show examples

developing areas, including science, technology and business are becoming more popular.

To begin

with, the principal reason causes

this

phenomenon is

art

class constitutes less part of the

school

program compared to the other subjects.

Moreover

, schools do not have adequate facilities that are specialized for teaching an

art

class.

Secondly

, individuals are choosing different careers, even though they are talented and enthusiastic about

art

since most

artists

cannot make

Correct your spelling

show examples

living by doing their jobs. According to a study, in the USA , the average painter's salary was more than 80 per cent lower than that of businessmen and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

engineers. There are several possible ways to make

art

popular among the population.

Firstly

art

should be taught same hour as other popular subjects.

Also

, every

school

need to build a modern

art

laboratory to encourage pupils to be active in classes.

In particular

, some schools in Japan used artificial intelligence in their classes, resulting

children

Change preposition

in children

show examples

having a great interest .

Furthermore

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

need to allocate more fund to support

artists

, so that they can pay their living expenses with their salaries. To sum up, it is undeniable that

art

is a vital part of our life, but these days, people are forgetting its importance due to less time for

art

class

Fix the agreement mistake

classes

show examples

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

curriculum and the low salaries of professional

artists

. The prime solutions to tackle

this

problem are improving

school

facilities to become more modernized and increasing

artists

' salaries with the help of authorities.

Submitted by enkhzaya.bold on Tue Oct 04 2022

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such as
namely
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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, tehcnology and business. Why do you that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, citizens must pay a lot of money in taxes, but education and healthcare are free. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages

Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the healthcare system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are the potential reasons for this, and what are some of the long-term effects?

Courses and general online study have recently become very popular. However, some people still prefer to attend classes in person. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Small business are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?