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Band 2.5

The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #organizations #people #argue #bosses
Nowadays, most companies
prefer
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toprefer
show examples
 choose older
people
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
a leader
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leader
Replace the word
leadership
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role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
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.
However
,
people
 believe that it is better to make bosses
a younger generations
Correct the article-noun agreement
younger generations
a younger generation
show examples
. I oppose the view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, older
people
 have more work and management experience. They were under big pressure and participate in solving many problems in their career, which can help them to make decisions faster and more relevant in
control
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the control
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 of companies.
For example
,
citizen
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a citizen
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 of Kazakhstan may become president only if he or she
over
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is over
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than
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apply
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40 years and has a work experience in
Add an article
the politic
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politic
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political
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 sphere.
Moreover
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
more
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is more
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 emotional and less keep control
themselves
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of themselves
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. They may misunderstand or decisions will be made in a wrong way, because of range or bad mood.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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Oxford’s research
about
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on
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‘influence
Correct article usage
the ‘influence
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 of emotions
to
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on
show examples
 habits of young
people’
Correct your spelling
people
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 is
ideal
Add an article
an ideal
the ideal
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 example. In conclusion,
old
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the old
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 generation is more suitable
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 being bosses, because they have more
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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 and they can keep under control themselves. From my point of view, older
people
 are
good
Correct article usage
a good
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choosing
Replace the word
choice
show examples
 for
leader
Replace the word
leadership
show examples
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
 in companies and younger generations must learn from them
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strategic decision-making
  • crisis management
  • innovative ideas
  • adaptable
  • tech-savvy
  • digital transformation
  • complex situations
  • high-pressure decisions
  • empathy
  • patience
  • strategic foresight
  • authoritative
  • collaborative work culture
  • dynamic
  • inclusive organizational culture
  • ageism
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