IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages
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Some people put their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 pastimes behind their
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that people should spend as much free time as possible doing activities they love for themselves .
First
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,
this
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 essay discusses the positive aspects of being busy with
work
Use synonyms
 and hobbies and
secondly
Linking Words
,their negative aspects. On the one hand,there are many benefits to spending more time studying and doing more of your
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 activities.Being engaged in an activity that one likes helps a
person
Use synonyms
 to grow spiritually.Being busy with more
work
Use synonyms
 helps a
person
Use synonyms
 to improve materially.Doing the
work
Use synonyms
 he likes not only by himself but
also
Linking Words
 with family members gives a
person
Use synonyms
 spiritual relief.
For example
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,according to the data,doing a hobby is enough to give a
person
Use synonyms
 a long life.
On the other hand
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, engaging in a habit that he likes more may not provide a
person
Use synonyms
 financially.Thinking more about the material side of things leads to
deterioration
Correct article usage
the deterioration
show examples
 of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 mood.
In addition
Linking Words
,it causes not being able to make promises to family members.
For example
Linking Words
, according to the opinion of a great researcher,a
person
Use synonyms
 works tirelessly until he is rich,and after that time,he spends that wealth to improve his health. In the end, everything that a
person
Use synonyms
 does should benefit him.I think that a
person
Use synonyms
 should give
equal
Add an article
an equal
the equal
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 commitment to his
work
Use synonyms
 and hobbies.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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