With pressure on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe the non- academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #non- #subjects #syllabus #children

Academic excellence has long been considered an intrinsic part of success. It is true that being educated is essential, but scientists have proven the advantages of incorporating non-academic elements into

educational

Add an article

the educational

show examples

process.

Thus

, I firmly believe that subjects in schools ought to be diverse and include non-academic activities.

This

specially

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especially

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the case when discussing school curriculum for

children

since

such

work makes

children

skillful

Change the spelling

skilful

show examples

and employable and leads to

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apply

show examples

versatile personality development. Going beyond

schools

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school

show examples

subjects is a magnificent opportunity to give

children

unique skills that make them ready to meet the current challenges.

For example

, some schools offer robotics

classes

to prepare

students

who can transform society with innovation and sustainable solutions. Not only do

such

classes

enhance

students

’

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

skills, but they

also

encompass the whole range of

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

Students

are free to embrace mistakes in a risk-free environment and,

thus

, acquire an in-depth understanding of the world around

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. Acquiring a mindset and habits that let

students

respond to real-world issues is all studying should be about. What some people tend to forget is that non-academic

classes

bring a valuable contribution to a well-rounded education and personal growth.

For instance

arts

Change the noun form

art

show examples

classes

enable

children

to express themselves as well as sports

classes

show kids the importance of leadership, patience and team effort.

Students

are deprived of their right to choose since core academic

classes

are the same for everyone. Without

this

kind of

education

Add a comma

,education

show examples

children

cannot develop properly because not only are they unable to look for patterns, but

also

they find it impossible to analyze and evaluate information. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize once more the idea that everyone will only benefit from the implementation of non-academic

classes

. Effective studying is possible to accomplish only with a multi-disciplinary approach due to the fact that it combines self-development with sound knowledge and skills required to achieve success.

Submitted by juliafromkazan2016 on Tue Oct 04 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With pressure on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe the non- academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

should human adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point.

school shoub get exam from stuest what is your openion

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country

Many people today find that the cost of attaining a University-level education is extremely high for the students and their families. What are the causes of this situation, and how can governments, Universities and the students themselves overcome the problem?