IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages
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Nowadays, a lot of
individual
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individuals
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Add a missing verb
are imployed
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employed
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imployed
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employed
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 lengthy hours without a break. They spend a lot of
time
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 working and don't have enough
time
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 to rest.
As a result
Linking Words
, they feel weak, and later
this
Linking Words
 condition leads to bad consequences. On the one hand, As far as I am concerned it's good to
work
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 hard. Because the more a
person
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 works, the more he seeks, the better he is spiritually and culturally. Everything is about
money
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 these days.
Therefore
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, the more
money
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 adolescent earns, the better for
Correct your spelling
themselves
themselve
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themselves
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is wrong for a
person
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 to help a lot, it is true that a
person
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 who works hard will have more
money
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, but a
person
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 should rest on
time
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. Because if the mind is not rested,
then
Linking Words
 it will lead to bad consequences. A
person
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 who is tired at
work
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 cannot spend
time
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 with his family. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to become unfit for
work
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 after years.
That is
Linking Words
way
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why
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, It seems to me that it's good to
work
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 and rest on
time
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 In conclusion, from my point of view, everyone should be able to relax
at
Change preposition
in
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 their own
time
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. Apart from
this
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, he will choose the right path for the future. But people
also
Linking Words
 need
money
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 and
relax
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relaxation
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therefore
Linking Words
, we must take both into consideration. Only
then
Linking Words
 will it be good for us.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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